27 October, 2011


I met with orthopaedic surgeon John Ternes this morning to tell me what I had already figured out on my own –

I have a completely torn biceps tendon that will require surgery, and quickly.

How I tore it is kind of embarrassing.

In the third quarter of last week’s game, our first touchdown had me sprinting down to the field level for my customary “C*A*T*S” cheer and section “claw” running back to my seats at the lower concourse level. Either someone gave me REALLY heavy claw, or a DEADSkins fan grabbed my hand as I sprinted back to my seat, but I felt a “POP” in my elbow, and a feeling of what I could only describe as a window shade rolling up after a stout tug – and I returned to my seat feeling quite weird. I sat out the next touchdown, but after some vigorous massaging and another beer courtesy of my nayb to the rear, I managed to go down for one more cheer for our game-clinching touchdown. Elevated by our victory, and a regeneration of my buzz, I thought no more of my “injury” until later on in the evening, when I looked in the mirror, and saw that my left biceps muscle had an odd new position, and I knew something was BIG wrong – I was almost relieved when Ron bailed on the Canadian Golf Adventure for the next morning, because I felt pretty sure that a round of golf may have further damaged my arm –

I met with my primary care physician, Eric T. Landis the next day who took one look and said –

“Oh Shit!”

His preliminary diagnosis was severely strained or torn biceps tendon, as I had feared, but referred me to Dr. Ternes just to be sure – He didn’t even want to run an MRI – one examination convinced him Dr. Landis’ diagnosis was indeed correct. He WAS greatly amused at the manner in which I sustained my injury, and proud that I had hurt myself in the same manner as quote – “wideouts and running backs” end quote. Dr Landis thinks the Panthers owe me an injury settlement, but even two seasons after “Cheergate”, I don’t think I’ll be going there.

The surgery is scheduled for Monday, November 7th at 3.00PM, after which your “Claw Man” goes on IR for the season. Oh, I’ll be at the remaining games and show up at home viewing parties, but my role as primary cheer dude in my section are done this year. And I’ll need a volunteer to mix the “Panther Potion” for the Titans, Duckies, and Sucky-neers home games.

In retrospect, even before I go under general anesthesia to repair this arm-whithering setback, there’s not a thing I’d change about the way I cheer – When I’m released from the doctor’s care, I’ll be heading back to the gym and working as hard as ever, and when the 2012 season begins, The CLAW MAN will be once again leading the “C*A*T*S” cheer in section 137 as usual. And I’ll be giving CLAW in the lot, and CLAW at the game –

With my left arm in a sling.

To paraphrase the good doctor Landis –

“Oh Shit!”

I’d do it again, friends.

See you Friday with the picks –

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