30 September, 2008


September 30th, 2008

Allright, we had an unexpectedly easy go of it against the Duckies last week, and now we’re anticipating another delightfully ecstatic ass-pounding of the Chefs this Sunday, aren’t we?

Not so fast.

Who among you gave Oregon State, the Mighty Beavers *koff* koff* a chance to whoop on the media-appointed invincible juggernaut USC? Who saw the TOTAL BEATDOWN that the Miami Dull-fins put on that impregnable fortress that is the NewEnglandLand Pastry-Rots? Who thought the FredSkins would go to The Stadium With The Damn Hole In The Roof and beat the CowPatties? Who gave AllllllllllllllahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhBammmmma a prayer of eking one out between the hedges, much less totally spaying the Dawgs?

To paraphrase my hero Jim “Machine Gun” Kelly after a Beefalo Beels victory when they were just starting not to suck anymore---

You’re a liar, You’re a liar, You’re a liar, and YOU- are a F***IN’ LIAR!

Any time you put two teams together, there’s only one lead pipe lock etched in stone in a monolith ten miles high guarantee-

Someone will win, someone will lose. I will not consider a tie.

Imagine this if you will. I’ve painted the picture several times before, but I’ll do it again because it’s relevant to this rant. When a crappy college team is playing badly, one would be quick to quip –

“Oh, those ShameCocks couldn’t beat Shelby High School!!!”

Oh yes they could. And they’d have to call the game after the first half. Shelby would not generate a first down. The NCAA is simply another level of play which VERY FEW high school athletes could ever dream of attaining. Now, let’s see, who’s the worst NFL team right now? One COULD have made a case for these Chefs that we’re fixin’ to play this Sunday. But let’s say it’s the Lambs. Let’s pit ‘em against the same ShameCocks that just gave Shelby High School a need for lifetime therapy. Same result, except NOW it's the ShameCocks who need Dr Phil to tell them they'll be ok despite gaining negative yards against the NFL's WORST team. Only the best of the best of the best of college athletes have the “IT” that NFL scouts and GM’s are looking for. They are the pros of the pros, and all should have that measure of pride.
And that is precisely what happened last week for the Chefs. At home, winless, with a tough, undefeated, but familiar opponent in the Broncoids.


Never mind that the Broncoids were undefeated. They had a offense that was playing tremendously, but an undersized defense that EVERYONE is scoring on. So, I’m not THAT impressed with the win, but you could make a case for the Broncoids looking past a vastly inferior team, well, at least on paper. But like I said, everyone in the NFL are professionals, and it’s up to the coaching staff to meld the talent available into a winning product. The Panthers should NOT MAKE THE MISTAKE of lightly regarding the Chefs. There ARE some players that can really hurt us, on BOTH sides of the ball- On offense, Larry Johnson needs no fanfare from me, or that All-World TE Tony Gonzales. On defense, guys like Derrick Johnson and Brandon Flowers can get after it. So, with that said, what should our game plan be?

I’m thinking this is the very perfect time for Foxball. Pure, simple, unadulterated Foxball. On offense, we should run the ball, run the ball, and run the ball some more. If I’m Herm Edwards, that’s what I’m expecting from the KittieCats, so yeah he’s gonna pack that box. And we gotta BUST THAT BOX- Even without Jordan Gross on our Oline this weekend, our drop off is not severe. Of course I would be stupid to insist we abandon the pass- it worked great last week, but the Duckie’s secondary was doo-doo, and we could get away with that. The Chef’s secondary is considerably better, and I’d prefer they have to take knocks from Stewilliams as opposed to having a chance to pick Jake off. On defense, we do exactly the same as the Chefs want to do to us. Except we have better personnel to do it. We pack the box, and make Brodie Croyle beat us with the pass. I feel good about our pass defense so far this year. He’ll probably find TG a few times, no doubt, but we CANNOT let Larry Johnson bust us up. And I’m pretty confident that he won’t. If LT, Forte, AP, and Turner couldn’t gain a benny on us, LJ CERTAINLY won’t. And IF the Chefs find the running tough, for GOODNESS SAKE, TURKEY-VAC---

THROW THE DAMN BLITZ at ‘em and get in Croyle’s jersey! (update- at this time looks like Damon Huard starts this Sunday- Croyle is injured) This ought to be a five-sack game, but knowing Foxy like we do now, I’m sure he plays this one tight like he always does. We’ll have to wait for Tampa Bay, I guess, to see the real Panther Pass Rush. The Chefs hang around for a quarter or two, and then we pull away by the fourth quarter. IF- and that’s a BIG IF- we play like we have been.

We’ve had the pleasure of two home wins, which have been so rare as of late. It remains IMPERATIVE that the HOME TEAM DOMINATES, and this is a game that absolutely REQUIRES IT! The true litmus for a coaching staff should be getting their players up for games like these as well as those rivalry games. I’m optimistic we’ll be happy come 4.00PM Sunday, but I wouldn’t TOTALLY count the Chefs out…

Welcome, Canadian PantherFanZ, no matter what the outcome, a great time is guaranteed for us all this Sunday!

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