22 September, 2008


September 22nd, 2008

Did you ever make a tee-time to play golf with two of your buddies, get to the course, and get hooked up with a single player to make a foursome? Many times, if you were like me when you played at least once a week, we’d play for money, and this single golfer would be interested in joining the wagering- He’d dribble his first tee shot, while the rest of us would have respectable drives into the fairway. His second shot would launch into the woods, while the rest of us landed safely on or near the green. And when Duffy Divot finally got on the green, he’d proceed to three-putt. Second hole went pretty much the same, as we joyfully fleeced our new group member. Third hole, same story.


On the fourth hole, he rips a three-hundred yard drive straight down the middle, and sheepishly wonders where that came from- as his second shot plops next to the pin, and of course, knocks the birdie in. You now get the picture, as Mr. Sandbagger leaves us “amazed” at his game while pocketing a hundred bucks of our money. You could see this happening in pool, too. This ever happen to you?

After hearing about Adrian Peterson’s injury, the benching of Tavaris Jackson, and the immobile fossil Gus Ferrotte, I was absolutely convinced we were going to wear them NorthMen out. Through most of the first half, I was still certain Foxy was putting the rope-a-dope on ‘em. But after the game, I couldn’t help but feel as if Coach Brad Childress was sandbagging the team, and us. Certainly, getting clobbered by the Packers, and snatching defeat from the stumbling Colts, gave Panther Nation the notion that these guys were ready to be had by the mighty Panther Juggernaut.


There was NOTHING wrong with Adrian Peterson, and amazingly enough, Ferrotte could still play. That offensive line is certainly good enough to open up holes for 300+ yards for AP, but they didn’t need it yesterday- We did it to ourselves. I couldn’t help but feel there was a lack of urgency on the team offensively – you certainly couldn’t say that DEFENSIVELY, at least not for the first half. We essentially had the Vikings right where we wanted them- but I think the team had forgotten how potent the Viking’s front four was – and one play, ONE PLAY on offense, when ONE PARTICULAR player who comings and GOINGS are usually good for this team- made a blunder in assignment that spelled doom for the team on this day. Their defense put that metaphysical ball right in the hole, and set on winning back the money they lost on the front nine-

So, how was I SO WRONG about the outcome of the game? Smith was back, and was definitely a contributor- They stopped the run, as was their choice, so we WERE able to move the ball through the air, and were leading by TEN with just a few minutes left in the half – agonizing as I predicted, but like everyone else, I had failed to take in account the powerful front line of the Viking’s D. Another issue was the UNACCEPTABLE amount of PENALTIES the ‘Cats starting piling up! I was aghast at the number – what was it, 120 yards? And MUCH of it on the O line! This just cannot happen on a playoff (PLAYOFF!!?? DON’T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFF!!??) team. Drive after drive was extinguished by the sudden ineptitude of the O line, who, for the first time this year, failed to open up acceptable running lanes for Stewilliams. When the push isn’t there, physics dictates that the push goes the OTHER WAY, which resulted in NO RUNNING GAME, 5 sacks of Jake, and of course, NO FOXBALL. I will not blame the defense on this one, no sir. We DID sack Augustus three times, held AP to 70 yards and NO TD’s. But when our offense keeps shooting themselves in the ass, our defense can only last so long. When the Vikes put an ASTOUNDING 19-play drive together late in the third quarter, that was the end of the game. Our defense was just gassed by the culmination of that drive, and THEIR D was now re-energized after getting mildly Foxballed in the first half. So, Childress managed to turn the tables on us. I hope this loss stings for the team. I hope this really pisses the O line off, ‘cause it really PISSED ME off! If I was pointing fingers to the crux of this loss, I would firmly place it on these guys and Mr. Goings as well.

So, in short, that’s the bumfuzzle in The Cedar Street Seer’s clairvoyance gland for this week. It’s happened before, just not very often.

It’s apparent after this game, that I can come to the conclusion that the Vikings aren’t as bad as they’d seemed, and The Panthers aren’t quite as good as we’d thought. But they can be- One absolute thing must happen- The line has GOT TO PLAY like it did in the first two games! GOT TO. Even with our wimpy schedule, if we aren’t running the ball, we cannot play Foxball, and our chances of winning get reduced greatly.

And now- here they come-

The 2-1 DUCKIES. RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGH! I hate those guys. They’re full of confidence, and I’m certain they see no reason why they can’t come to our house and kick our ass. Why shouldn’t they? They did LAST year! Houston did, and that was with JAKE at QB! I will tell you this for sure, we are not rolling the Falcons this Sunday, and if we do, I will be surprised. We will win this game ONLY if the defense plays like it did in the first half yesterday, and Gross, Otah, Kalil and co. KNOCK THE DAMN D LINE BACK! I know we will play better than we did in Mini-soda, we just will. But the Duckies know us, and they’re MOTIVATED. And if Foxy and the coaching staff can’t motivate us for our ARCHNEMESIS, they shouldn’t have the job. Again, like Da Bears game, I’m cautiously optimistic for Sunday, but just don’t expect a blowout.

As I listen to the knee-jerk reaction of Panther Nation yesterday and today, I keep reminding myself the season is VERY YOUNG, and many teams, ours included, is a work in progress. Every team is going to have some ups, and a few downs, depending on WHICH team you are- If you’re the St. Looey Lambs, you’re going to have a lot of them. The NewEnglandland Pastry-Rots, well, they got a REAL BIG DOSE of DOWN, courtesy of the Miami Dull-Fins! Some are having a BUNCH of ups if you have a sword, bison or a star on your helmet. And don’t forget, when I made my first prediction of the schedule results, I DID budget a LOSS for the Vikings, didn’t I? So, it’s wrong, WRONG, VERY WRONG, to write off the season after a crappy loss like this one. I think Foxy and co. fix this by the second half of the season while we get well on the Chefs, Bucs, Saints and Cardy-noles. Like I said, don’t expect a blowout this weekend while the pit crew tightens up the Cat Car on our first pit call.


You should CERTAINLY expect another EXCELLENT tailgate party- Come on down to the lot, catch you a nice buzz, and HATE ON THEM DUCKIES and CHEER ON YOUR PANTHERS!!!

(and be cool to those Fanbulance folks…)

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