A THING OF BEAUTY

I would first like to thank Dano and the Lovely Yvonne for opening up their home to the Seer and family as well as other members of the Pantherfanz Tribe. The grub was MOST excellent! I also would like to acknowledge Dano’s Spock-like analysis of his DirecTV issues, thus saving the afternoon for all.

With that being said, I am conditioned, as most NFL fans are, to respond to the long, arcing pass that results in either a big yardage gain or a touchdown. While it’s effect on the overall game can be likened to a precision laser strike, the less glamorous, but far more lethal rushing attack, is really how the game should be played. And what we, Panther Nation, had witnessed with just under 8 minutes left to play, might have been one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen in pure football execution. After another completely bone-headed INT by the besieged Joke Delhomme, I think Foxy may have thrown up his hands, and said to his OC Davidson – “I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU DO, JUST DON’T CALL ANY PASSING PLAYS!”

Ok, one little safe slant to Steve Smith, which by the way, was his ONLY COMPLETION of the day! The rest, as you saw, was an example of HOW TO USE TWO OF THE BEST BACKS IN THE LEAGUE! So where has this been since January 10th? I would rather lose, 9-12, in a field goal game, than lose by the margins we’re losing by via the TURNOVERS generated by our quarterback! More on that later. But seriously, when you can plow the defense over, and gash them for yard after yard, what do you need with the pretty passing game?

It makes me think of two women I have the pleasure of knowing, who’ll not be identified here. One is probably the very hottest woman I’ve ever met. A towering 6’2”, flowing raven rivelts of shiny hair, dazzling crystal blue eyes, and a figure sprung right to life from Frank Cho’s hyper-realistic drawings of plus-size beauty. With her glamourous other-worldly beauty comes the baggage of a plethora of high-maintenance issues. The other, a middle aged, naturally beautiful woman of equal height, with naturally wavy blonde hair, and far more Reubenesque. A pleasant face, her even demeanor and commonsensical thinking would make her more my choice as someone to build a life with. You know the brunette turns you on, but you are far better off with the blonde. (Didn’t Archie wind up with Betty?) That, in effect makes her far more beautiful to me, like my wife Kathie and women just like her. I’ll let the high-maintenance male Adonis counterpart deal with Brunette Barbie.

So does the notion of soaring rainbows into the arms of Steve Smith go the way of my rejection of High-Maintenance Mama? Perhaps, if you have to deal with the issues of turnovers by the ton! I say, in this football relationship, you have to go with what works! Stewilliams may not look as pretty as a fifty-yard bomb to Steve Smith, but after today, I have to say they get the job done! And I’ve seen Mamma Blondie all dressed up, too, and she’s nothing to sneeze at. Once in a while you get to dance with a really pretty girl, but you do that enough times, and you wind up in trouble.

And now, we will all have to say that the Jake Delhomme era here in Pantherland has seen its last year. Today has pretty much convinced me of that. NFL players all hit a wall at some point in their careers when their once – stellar play has suddenly morphed into mediocrity, or worse. Any of you remember Shawn Alexander? Drew Bledsoe? Mark Brunell? There comes a point in an athlete’s life when the body simply can’t perform as it once did. Go around the league today – LaDamian Thomlinson. Kerry Collins. Clinton Portis. Issac Bruce. And now, Jake Delhomme. It’s over, Jake. If the Panthers SOMEHOW manage to rise above the suckiness we’ve witnessed so far this season, it won’t be because of any heroics you’ve accomplished. And now, what Jeff Davidson has to do, is to create plays that maximize use of Stewilliams, and that naturally beautiful running game that this afternoon was as beautiful as Little Ally’s momma. And quit dancing with the purty girl with the issues.

Can’t wait for the Canadian Contingent and the Bills.

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