15 October, 2009


Yes, it’s a bit late Fanz, but better late than not at all. The buzz from a really awesome party has worn off, along with the relief felt of a spirited rally by our Panthers. While most of the performances of our team from that day are rather pedestrian when you look at the overall history, ESPECIALLY last season,
There’s one thing that stood out to me, and it has made a lasting impression on me.
Even at 2-2, the Warshingtoon Redskins are widely regarded by the folks covering the league to be one of the league’s WORST, a sizable battalion of fans drove from places in Northern VA and Mary-land to our lot in vehicles road-worn but visibly wearing the passion of their owners. From the taxidermy boar’s head on the Microbus, to the supremely geeky-cool P-40 on the Jetta, down to the license plates telling the world on the road that “DALLSUX “, this was a crew that was committed to the party, committed to the team, regardless of the supreme suckage that IS the Warshingtoon DEADskins.

It was at that time, I received the mandate from the Supreme Galactic Being you worship by the name you know HIM as. If we, residents of Charlotte, North Carolina, want to be a REAL NFL city, we have to be like its fans. We are NOT going to be good every year. NO NFL team is great year in, year out. Go down the list of this year’s contenders. Have the Giants, Colts, Ravens, Packers, Vikings, Saints ever had sucky years? How long did the Saints suck gigantic prehistoric pterodactyl balls? Things in this league are cyclical. They always will be. But the one thing that’s constant is that the fans of the game and those that love the team and their town will always fill the seats. Does Clevelandland suck? Do they ever! Think the Dawg Pound will be full every game? If you bet against it, you’d be bound to lose. And we, the purchasers of the PSL, evacuate the stadium after the third quarter like they found an ancient hyper-radioactive relic under the field. Do you think for a minute that fans of the long-suffering Chefs and Bungles wouldn’t trade their ownership and coach for ours?

Yeah, our team has early problems this year, and we, present company DEFINITELY included, have made a habit of bashing this team on practically every level. And much of it’s deserved. But I would like to pass the mandate down to you, my lot mates, and those of you who follow the team, read the blogs, listen to PacMan or Frank and Buck or whichever sports show you tune into – Support the team. Love the team. We had no problems loving, with all of our hearts, those early bumbling but loveable (and sensitive!) Hornets twenty years ago. Just like quarreling brothers are quick to pound each other on the head, let an outsider even think about making a hostile move, and the brothers unite. Just like Ricky and Bo.

So it should be on game day. Yeah, Peppers SUCKS! But he’s OUR Peppers! Jake sucks, but he’s OUR Jake! And they’re capable of playing the game. I’m not saying we shouldn’t criticize the team, not at all. I just think that denying all support because our team doesn’t ring up touchdowns like doughnuts at a dollar store is wrong. It’s wrong to those cats coming down in their DeadSkin bus, it’s wrong to those drunken Suckeyes in the Dawg Pound, it’s wrong to those professional tailgaters at Arrowhead, and it should be wrong to us.
Follow the mandate, Fanz! Do the Panthers suck this year? Yeah, so far. Is there more wins in ‘em? Maybe. Will the party in the lot be killer? Damn straight. Perhaps after this year, we will begin to shed the embryonic membrane of newness off ourselves, and become a REAL NFL TOWN. It’s our mandate, brought down to us in a beat-up burgundy and gold Microbus with a tacky helmeted HOG on the roof.

See you tomorrow with the picks.

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