THE WEEKLY HANDICAP AND OTHER CLARIVOYANCES-WEEK 12

Happy Thanksgiving week, Fanz –

The holiday brings its usual conflagration of families long not seen, mounds of food for those fortunate enough to have it, and the delightful distraction of the games, three of them this year, one courtesy of the NFL Network.

And I’m thankful to have posted a winning slate of picks last week.

My recovering hand is still prohibiting productive striking of the keyboard, so I am keeping my commentary on my picks brief, once again.

Here we go, starting with the Thanksgiving Day Games –

GREEN BAY @ DETROIT

Here’s the game many of us have salivated over since both teams started the season 5-0. The Leos tailed off a bit, but are still very much in the playoff picture. Coming back from 17 points down to the Panthers is no monumental task, but does show how much fight’s in Detroit. And they’re at home. The Packers will have to get a test SOMETIME this season, and tomorrow will be the day. Take the Leos and the +7.

MIAMI @ DALLAS

The Cowboys have a chance to take command of the division – and they won’t blow it. I like ‘em big over an overachieving Phish.

SAN FRANCISCO @ BALTY-MOORE

For the first time in NFL history, a game featuring BROTHER head coaches takes place, and lucky for us, the teams don’t suck! I think there’s more urgency on the Ravens side of the ball, as the Niners should actually clinch a playoff spot with their next win. Just won’t be this week. Quothers by -3.

ARID-ZONA @ SAD LOOEY

Uggh. Someone has to win this game. The line is off, and I’m sensing a Cardy-Nole special teams play (Mr. Patterson?) to win it -

CLEVLANDLAND @ CINCINNATI

Like I said, I’m not taking the Browns again this year. Bungles big.

MINI-SODA @ ATLANTA

No AP? Big problem. Duckies waste the Vikings as they fight for their playoff lives.

TAMPA BAY @ TENNESSEE

Mediocre teams fighting for relevancy. I’m feelin’ the Sucky-neers to cover the +3.

CAROLINA @ INDIANAPOLIS

If the Panthers lose this game, whatever’s left of the excitement bubble of Cam-waggoning will disintegrate for the reminder of the season. And it won’t be pretty. And it won’t happen. There’s too much offense on the ‘Cats for that to happen. Panthers by -4.

HOUSTON @ JACKSONVILLE

This is when the Texans have to establish their hold onto the division, and throttle a vastly inferior team. And I think they do it convincingly. By at least the -4.

BUFFALO @ NEW YORK JETS

For these AFC East foes, the season is on the brink. To lose to Denver and Miami respectively is unacceptable for teams fighting for playoff positioning. As has been the case all season, the Jets defense has game-changing capabilities, and will be the difference. The Bills are fading altogether. Take the J*E*T*S and the -8 at home.

CHICAGO @ OAKLAND

Hello, Mr. Haney! The Raiders ain’t a customer in Hooterville to hustle – Welcome to your first NFL start! SOMEONE has to separate themselves from the rest of the morass that is the AFC Worst – I like the Raiders and the -4.

WARSHINGTOON @ SEATTLE

These guys get paid, too. The Deadskins play their best against the Cowboys. I’m sensing a three-pick game outta Gross-Man. Seadogs by -3 ½.

NEW ENGLANDGLAND @ PHILTHYDELPHIA

The effort displayed by the Iggles last week was nowhere near enough to save their season, although their beleaguered offense may be able to puncture the Pastry-Rots defense. But then there’s the Brady Bunch. The line is off, but I like New EnglandGland.


DENVER @ SAD DIEGO

I REFUSE to get pulled into Te-blow mania. Its’ the DEFENSE that’s carrying the Broncoids, and Timmy just happens to be along for the ride. The Chargers haven’t dominated anyone all year, and it’s not starting Sunday. Denver hangs with them, but no Te-blow heroics this time. But they cover.

PISSBURGH @ KANSAS SHITTY

I don’t get how such a crappy team gets TWO consecutive primetime games! Won’t happen again. This is a game the Squeelers usually dominate, and I don’t see anything changing. Men of Squeel by -11.

NEW YORK GIANTS @ NEW ORLEANS

I remember a Sunday night game in the 90’s at the Superdome that the Saints had in hand, and Lawrence Taylor, separated shoulder non-withstanding, WILLED the Geee-men to victory, never mind that Morten Andersen’s kick was GOOD! ( %&*#^%$#%#refs….) This game doesn’t feature any kind of fearsome Giants linebackers, much less defense. The Saints DO have Bobby Hebert calling the color analysis on the radio, though…. Saints smoke the Giants, who let a vastly inferior Iggles team escape last week…



I'll be more thankful when my arm heals...


Last week - 8-5

Season - 81-74

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