WHEW!!!

November 10, 2008

THAT-

Was possibly the most excruciating three hours I’ve ever committed to watching a Panthers game.

If you’re like me, and you’re listening to WFNZ, most of the focus has been laser-beam sharp on the one single entity that is 99% responsible for the offensive DEBACLE we saw in the seagull infested crOakland Stadium yesterday.

And deservedly so.

There’s no need to identify the guilty party. There’s no need to pick at a wound that has the potential to heal, and quickly. But BESIDES Jake, there are several instances where I would also assign blame on Jeff Davidson.

That’s right. Let me explain.

It was clear from the onset that the Schraider’s defense was committing to stopping the run. But yet, we continued to attempt to smash the ball up the middle, when perhaps a well-excecuted sweep would have been more effective at the edges. And why, oh why, did Davidson call for a LONG PASS on third and short? Not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES???

Why, Jeffy?

I’m at a loss to understand, or explain. Was your game plan so complicated you were fearful to change it in mid-game, or was it so simple, you were fearful to complicate it? Thank goodness that our running game had a little spark, or this would have been a day of unprecedented gnashing of teeth and tearing of garments, in genuine Old Testament style. Ok, we won. We’re supposed to feel great about that, right?

So why do I feel like we lost the game?

Could it be perhaps that the Duckies went in there and made them look like a junior varsity team last week? Could it be because the cornerstones of my fantasy team scored a –1.37 and .90 respectively? I’m reminded of the times I used to compete in modeling contests, and seeing entrants whoop with joy upon getting a trophy when they were the ONLY ONES in the category, and their entry was well, average. But yet, they won anyway. I remember going to the races with my older brother on his motorcycle, which was the only one in it’s class, and he brought home a trophy despite running his heat all by his lonesome on the track. How hollow for Serge, and how hollow for those modeling geeks who are happy for the trophy they won.

And I’m supposed to be happy with a victory that saw the face of our franchise play a game that wasn’t average, wasn’t below average, IT WAS ABOMINABLE!
UNACCEPTABLE! I could forgive EVEN TWO picks- THREE, if there were an equal amount of touchdown passes. FOUR?

It makes me want to retch. But the good thing is, it makes Jake want to retch, too. Only moreso. And while we’re diggin’ around for good things, Jake’s play was the ONLY wretched thing about yesterday’s game.

The defense was stellar. The secondary was it’s usual excellent self, keeping the play in front of them as they have all year, and the pass RUSH has begun to assert itself. They were getting after the Schraiders play after play, creating turnovers, and keeping them out of the red zone. Ok, they were playing one of the worst teams in the league. CrOakland made enough mistakes that made the task easier for the Panthers, and the special teams were also noteworthy. Baker’s too-frequent punts were consistently high, long, and tough to return, especially when our heat-seeking muscle missles were streaking down the field on coverage. Matt Jones was as good as he’s been since he came to the team on the return game.

And Julius Peppers?

A total, monstrous, dominating BEAST. When he comes to play, HE DOMINATES THE GAME. Let’s hope he does this for the remainder of the season, because if the defense doesn’t play like it did yesterday- we lose. And we lose to arguably the WORST TEAM IN THE LEAGUE. And if we are playing any other team besides crOakland? We lose. Pure and simple. Despite the play of the defense. Any other team besides the Lambs would have taken Jake’s four picks and crammed them in the suppository deposit zone. This can’t happen again. It can’t happen against the Lie-uns next week, and if it happens at the Duckie Pond in Atlanta in two weeks, you can kiss the division, and possibly the playoffs, goodbye.

It’s that critical.

Some might think I’m overly despairing of the team today; I’m not, really! I’m despairing of the one player we’re counting on to make our championship dreams come true, and the coordinator who’s calling his plays. And to be fair, this is one game, won in the ugliest of fashions. How many NFL champions have won their share of games JUST LIKE THIS? Green Bay? Pissburgh? The Cowgirls? Yeah, and the NEW YORK GIANTS????!!! I guess this is our turn. Don’t think the fans of the other teams wanted to run their quarterback/coordinator out of town after a performance like Jake had yesterday. And oh, by the way, The Squealers, as you may know, started Big Ben yesterday who tossed only TWO picks, but ones that led to points. And they DID lose to a team they absolutely SHOULD HAVE BEATEN AT HOME. So today, Squealer fans have to look eyeball to eyeball with the Ravens who are now in a great spot to challenge their divisional supremacy. Delhomme was TWICE as bad, and we STILL WON, and still have a one-game lead on the Duckies and Buckies. Another worn-out axiom trotted out after games like this holds true, and it kind of annoys me to repeat it, but-

Great teams find ways to win, even when it’s ugly.

In a reverse beauty pageant, The Panthers win hands down. If it was the Cowbabies who’d played that game, I guarantee you their fans give Romo the Homo and all the rest of those overpaid and overrated hyper-talents a pass. The thing I like about OUR fan base, is that we are NOT. Truth be told, Jake has tossed a few stinkers in his time here, much like Brett Favre tossed many a stinker in TundraLand. And still got us to Playoffsville. I’m expecting a MUCH better effort out of Jake from here on out. If we know Jake like we do, you can count on it.

Join me in cheering Jake on this Sunday, as we hit the next mark on our journey in dispatching Detroit.

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