01 September, 2013


First off, I would like to apologize to the sites’ many followers and readers for my year-long absence.

As many of you know, I’ve been on a heart-rending journey that started last year with my dad, who Marc proclaimed as the “Commissioner of the Lot” back in 2003, and his brief and unsuccessful battle with colorectal cancer. Add to that several life-changing events, and well, a gush of blog posts on a professional football team become irrelevant and unnecessary. BUT –

As with all things traumatic, they all pass, and that includes seasons of suckage, and the GOOD TIMES return to us all.

So it goes with us, and the silver, black and electric blue wagon we’ve hitched our sports passions too.

I’m back. And the only phrase that I can think of is the one I’ve opened up the season’s first rant with – Let me return back to that gorgeous November morning back in 2003. My dad had recently returned from a lengthy misadventure in the Dominican Republic, and I implored him to attend his first tailgating experience in the old Morehead street lot. Of course, as is his way, he came quite nattily dressed in a fine blazer, dress shirt and sweater vest and wool slacks. Fox 18 did a quick story there and proclaimed Pops as “The Best Dressed Panthers Fan”. In the brief interview he gave the reporter at the site, he said in his heavy Eastern European accent, quote – “This is my first time at the NFL game with my son, and –



It was a phrase that Marc immortalized, set on the website, (if the link still works it can be seen in our archives here - mms://xpstream.winisp.net/dark_dante/Nov9-2003/), and used the sound bite to open his mega-touching blog concerning his own dad, Ron Stanton’s heart surgery. I had so hoped my Dad could have battled through his affliction to make it to the tailgate party to once again exhort us to the start of last year’s season, but alas, it was not to be. And so, my Dad joins Marc and the other beloved members of our circle that have crossed the mortal boundaries of our existence to those eternal vistas that know no bounds, storms, or pain. And we are here to anticipate what is coming for our Panthers in the upcoming season. So, with an offseason of purge and acquire, General Gettleman, in his first go-around at the administrative helm of our Cats, has given clearance to Chef Rivera to FINALLY add the ingredients to our football feast that take us from fast-food burgers to an evening at Ruth Chris – I’m returning to the theme of a rant I made at the start of Ron Rivera’s tenure…


So our offense now has the Frisbee catchin’ dogs that SuperCam needs to fling the biscuit at, although Chef Ron is going to need to go to the “Quick Sale “ isle for an offensive lineman or two. On defense, I’m definitely of the opinion that the defense is rapidly approaching Cordon Bleu status – yeah, yeah, I know that preseason is pretty much fool’s gold, but when thing are working right in the preseason, they tend to work right in the regular season. So while the offense needs some more time in the oven and an ingredient or two, the defense is ready to serve! And serve they will –

 Here are my thoughts as to how the season unfolds –


If we wanted to know where the team stood among the so-called NFL “elite” we could probably not ask for a much better opponent than the trendy pick from the media lemmings, the Seattle Seahawks. This is a team we SHOULD have beaten last year, save for a really stupid play from Cam – It’s largely the same team, except we’ve got some major additions, and exponential improvements in several facets of our game. This is a statement game, the SeaDogs RARELY play well on a East Coast jaunt, and the Panthers win this DECISIVELY.


A team that should be improving is going backwards. With an outright inexperienced rookie starting at QB, this looks to be a defensive struggle that the Panthers ultimately pull out. The road win gives us a promising 2-0 start –


We revisit the colossal failure of last year’s nationally televised embarrassment. Except this year, the stage is a little bit different, and the cast of characters revised a bit – don’t think that retribution’s NOT a motivating factor for everyone on the team that endured it last year – This one’s a WIN, boys and girls – that nasty front seven is going to make Brotha Manning PAY every time he takes a snap, and suddenly, the country is taking notice of the 3-0 CAROLINA PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTHERS!!!

WEEK 4- vs. BYE

Not a particularly good time for a bye, but it gives the offense another week of hard practice to get any residual kinks worked out, because the schedule doesn’t get any easier from here on out –

Week 5 - @ ARID-ZONA This, on paper, looks like a win, but I’m not so sure. The giddy 3-0 start may have the ‘Cats feeling a bit over confident. The Cardynoles DO have a decent defense that just got better with the addition of LSU’s bad-boy dynamo Tyrann Matheiu – they will be a challenge, but I think the Panthers will come out of the better end of this, but it will be the toughest game we will have yet played in the young season.


The Metrodome has traditionally been a tough place for us to play, and this won’t be an exception, even as it will be our last visit to this venerable structure. But the fact is that the Viking’s offense has become pretty much one-dimensional. Stop Peterson, and the job’s done. Leave that to our front seven, and the Panthers are now a scrumptious 5-0!!!


 The Bank of America stadium crowd will be like one we haven’t seen in some time. The Bandwagoners who had been largely invisible for the past four seasons, and BTW, have been selling their tickets to the opposing fan base, will all of a sudden be in their seats with their brand new Luke Kuechley jerseys to welcome the conquering heroes home. With nary a Lambs jersey to be seen, the Panthers steam roll the hapless ungulates from Missou, and now, the overexposed talking heads on ESPN, FOX and CBS will be paying attention to us, but few will be willing to go out on that limb and actually consider us contenders – not yet… on NBC’s nightly broadcast, the pundits will still be licking Tommy Brady’s jock…however –


 -The NFL Network will be giving us our due, and on the opening game of the week, the country will see what we’ve known all along – The Panthers are damned good this year – The Sucky-neers will be going in reverse this season, and it will be apparent in this game – Holy shit – The Panthers are now 7-0. Some of us are not sure that we are just dreaming and it’s time to wake up – And Jonathan Stewart will be back in the offensive mix… just in time...


On this day, I’m pretty sure the Peachtree populace will be caring FAR more about their HOTlanta Braves and their World Series appearance than their floundering Duckies. There’s a reason our games with these dirty birds were so dominant – The talent gap has closed. And in our case, especially DEFENSIVELY, it’s now overwhelmingly on our side. With our pass rush, and a now- hobbled Steven Jackson (trust me, he doesn’t last the season) the Duckies just can’t put the points on the board against this Panther Defense – The Canadian PantherFanz and the Bloody Caesar Brigade leave happy, and Uncle Jerry and BossMan Dave start thinking about new contracts for not only Cam, but Chef Ron…. And Chris Collinsworth still thinks we aren’t any good…


I still think that The Fourty-Niners are one of the most dominant teams in the conference, and they will bring it against us – HARD – It’s almost impossible to believe, but we last played these guys – and BEAT THEM – in our 2-14 season with the now-departed Jimmy Claussen at QB- payback’s a bitch, y’all. Our first loss, but hey, given what we’ve been through, 8-1 going into the last part of the season’s a beautiful thing. But I’m tellin’ you, if I was on my FOURTH Bloody Mary instead of my THIRD, I might be giving this game to the ‘Cats….


The Panthers make their triumphant return to Monday Night Football against a very worthy and polarizing opponent. The Pastry-Rots will have had a tough season, and this game will just add to their misery. With a whole slew of new receivers that Tommy Terrific will have to get used to, even getting Gronk back won’t help the relentless pass rush we will unleash on the Cheat-a-Checks. We return to the winning side, for the season, and for the first time since that fateful 2008 campaign… From here on out, our games will be flexed, some even featured on the NBC Sunday Night exclusive. And Chris Collinsworth will STILL be praising our opponent, while dissing us and every football quality we apparently lack…


Here’s another game I just don’t feel good about. The Dull-fins will be a much improved team this year, and clearly the only serious opposition to the Pastry-Rots in their pitiful division. We’ve NEVER, EVER beaten this team in our history. And we will have to wait another 4 years. Somehow, the Dolphins find a way to edge us. Even a FIFTH Bloody Mary’s not getting me to think we’re going undefeated…


At this juncture of the season, Chef Ron is NOT pulling a Jim Mora – He’s openly saying the “P” word at 9-2, and this divisional game is going to be for the “P” word – POSITIONING – with a lead on the Saints and Duckies, this will be a game we will have to have. Unlike last years’ habitual snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, this will be a game the defense wins for us, moreso than any game they have played this season.


If there was ever a team that felt they were owed, it’s these guys. I’ll guarantee this is a game that NBC and those Brees-Jock-Sniffing Collinsworths will want on their broadcast. On paper, I’d say the Panthers are the better team, especially defensively, but Sean Payton has already been game planning on his two contests with the Panthers since his return to the head coaching duties. The ‘Cats put up a valiant fight, but Peyton pulls out every trick in his book, contacts every voodoo practitioner in the entire State of Louisiana, and they find a way to win this game. And for another week, Chris Collinsworth, in his mind, is vindicated on his disdain for the Panthers…


The cornucopia of late season home games continues for us, but why, oh WHY did the schedule makers make this a 4.15 kickoff? The train wreck that is the J*E*S*T*S will most assuredly be in full derailment, along with Sexy Rexy’s inevitable dismissal. It’s a happy, HAPPY time in the REAL Queen City (that’s RIGHT, Cincinnati, WE DEY!!!) as the Panthers CLINCH their first playoff spot since that year we are all trying very hard to forget -


All of the Saints’ playoff hopes hinge on this game. Fox makes this the 4.00 National game, and the Panthers will not look as good as they will in this game. Still smarting from the voodoo-enhanced defeat at the Superdome two weeks earlier, Chef Ron snatches the offensive playbook from Coach Mini-Shula and gets Dad to phone in a few creative plays that overcome, embarrass, enmasculate, and evaporate the aspirations of the Comeback Saints. At 12-3, the Carolina Panthers are NFC SOUTH DIVISION CHAMPIONS, and a top seed in the

 p –



PLAYOFFS, BABY!!! Which renders –


-this game meaningless. The Duckies, eliminated weeks ago from playoff contention, intend to play this game for pride, and Chef Ron gets a tip from Chris Collinsworth’s leash holder, Tony Dungee, and signs Jimmy Claussen to a one-week contract so BOTH Cam Newton and Derek Anderson get to sit down for this game that has as much meaning as the fourth preseason game. The Duckies roll in a game that does nothing to salve Douglas Fairbanks’ clone, Arthur Blank in his rage at his under-performing Duckies.

To the postseason we go, and one things for sure – We will not be dealing with The Arid-Zona Cardy-noles, John Fox (not in the divisionals, anyway) OR Joke Del-homey and his seven turnovers.


 AND –


 And I sure hope you all are, too - It’s been a pleasure sharing my Bloody Mary-enhanced clairvoyance with you all. It’s good to be back.

 I’ll share my view of the league with you all shortly –

 Gotta Comment? e-mail me, The Cedar Street Seer CaptnTee@aol.com

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