And in record setting lateness, I make my Saturday nightcap with the Sunday picks, in which I give thanks that CryBaby Tebow gave way to his SEC tormentor Mark Ingram for the overrated Heisman Trophy. And this Sunday is really Separation Sunday for many clubs. My third goblet of wine is taking effect, and let's see if a buzz helps my anemic handicapping THIS week, truncated of course, by the Thursday game, which I would have given to Pissburgh as would have anyone not afflicted by any random mental condition with a Lake Erie address.
DENVER @ INDIANAPOLIS
The Colts have clinched the AFC South. They are a game away from clinching Home Dome for the playoffs. Denver's in pretty good shape wild card wise, but a win here would be bonus, and confidence building. Just like Gretzky in that Nike Commercial years ago-
Uh, no.
Colts by -7.
CINCINATTI @ MINI-SODA
The Cardy-noles exposed the Favres in the desert last Sunday. Tomorrow the Bungles further expose them in the Metrodome. I fully expect the now - defensively depleted Favres to get The Bungles' best shots. And they'll get it and they'll cover, if not win outright. Bungles and the +6 1/2.
NY JETS @ TAMPA BAY
The Suckaneers played well against a listless Panther team last week, but couldn't overcome the turnovers. The Jets will be without overrated rookie Sanchez. I like Tampa in this one in a game that will effectively eliminate the Jets from any foolish playoff talk. Suckaneers and +3.
BUFFALO @ KANSAS CITY
The Bills will feel right at home in a frosty Arrowhead Stadium. I still think the Chefs put on ONE MORE good home game for the fans other than that surprise over the Squeelers. This is one of them. A pick 'em, and I'm pickin' the Chefs.
GREEN BAY @ CHICAGO
Da Bears couldn't muster double digits over a pathetic Lambs team - The Packers are starting to peak at the right time, and they'll put away their ursine division mates handily. Wouldn't surprise me to go past -10, but for now, the -3 is plenty safe for the Packers.
NEW ORLEANS @ ATLANTA
Anyone taking the Deadskins last week made mucho. And I suspect it weren't many. No such shenanagins this week. The Duckies are depleted, and done. Saints by double digits.
DETROIT @ BALTY-MOORE
For the Ravens to return to the playoffs, this is "go time". It's a huge line, but given the importance of this game for the Quothers, I'd be inclined to take the -13 1/2.
MIAMI @ JACKSONVILLE
Of for the misfortune of the Jacksonville viewing area not to be treated to a renaissance of Jaggy-whyer football. I'm sure this is another non-sellout which forces the area to be stuck with watching the Duckies get rolled like so much asphalt. This is sure to be a body-bag game with plentiful hitting. But something about the Michigan Man at QB in a big game has got me convinced - Dolphins and the +2 1/2.
CAROLINA @ NEW ENGLANDLAND
Something stinks in Pastry-Rotsville. Something that won't be made up on the field against a supposedly "lesser opponent". The Panthers have what they have, which is "Moore of the same". Unspectacular QB play, punishing running game, and a developing defense, which believe it or not, is improving with each game. I think they keep it close. Cats to cover that insulting spread of +13 1/2.
SEATTLE @ HOUSTON
Two teams at 5-7, one seriously believing it was ready to step into the elite group, facing dissappointing conclusions to the season. No rally by Kubiak's kids, I believe will save his job, but tomorrow's shootout should be fun for all in attendance. I just don't think Houston covers. SeaDogs and the +6 1/2.
SAD LOUIS @ TENNESSEE
Let's see, the only starter to win for the Titans this year is out, and the VERY OLD Kerry Collins starts. No chance for the playoffs, and the Lambs really needing to get out of the season. Lambs covered last week against a mediocre opponent, I see them doing the same. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and the +13.
WARSHINGTOON @ CrOKLANDLAND
On the surface, this looks like a contest between two Japaneese dudes in bad monster suits on 8mm film - But what this is, is a chance for the AfRaiders to further establish some legitimacy to their downtrodden franchise after the SHOCKER in Heinz Field last week. And for Bruce Gradowski to embellish his resume. The Deadskins are actually competetive, but like the rest of the bottom feeders of league, are pretty much playing out the string, and I'm wasting too much verbiage on a game of such low importance. CrOaklandland byt +1.
SAN DIEGO @ DALLAS
Ahhh, the first of two MEGA HUGE MARQUIS late games for the weekend! The Chargers bring their resurgent offense into Jerry's playhouse for a game that will go a long way in solidifying playoff positioning for the winner. And until they prove me different, I believe December is the Cowbabies' mortal enemy. Bolts and the +3.
PHILTHYDELPHIA @ NY GEEEMEN
The nightcap for the day truly worth waiting for! Should the Giants win, and the Cowpuppies lose, there will be a three way-tie for the division! Both teams are pretty beat up, but I think McSnabb's in better shape than Brotha Manning. Gimme the Iggles and the +1, and the GeeMen have to look to next year.
ARID-ZONA @ SAN FRANCISCO
This is pretty much the last stand for Samauri's boys if they are going to make a statement about the direction of their team. The Cardy-noles had THEIR statement game against the Favres last week. As much as I'd like to take the Niners, I think the whole Monday night deal won't be enough for the home Bay Area Boosters. Cardy-noles by -3 1/2.
12 December, 2009
THE CEDAR STREET SEER'S QUARTERLY REPORT - QUARTER 3
Good Saturday night to you all, Fanz!
A brutal stretch of days at the day job has gotten me to the keyboard on Saturdays only, and for brief stretches only. But I made a committment to keep blogging for the site, and I am VERY passionate about the league, even though the Panthers are quite the dissappointment this year. So, with four games left to go, there's plenty to figger out, but some playoff certainties.
Here's the big picture.
AFC DIVISION LEADERS
INDIANAPOLIS (12-0) CINCINATTI (9-3) SAN DIEGO (9-3) NEW ENGLANDLAND (7-5)
Of these four, The Colts have clinched. Another pair of wins probably guarantees a first-round bye and home field. The Bungles are win away from clinching the Norris Division, but San Diego all of a sudden has a resurgent Denver team a game behind. The Chargers have challenging games against the Cowbabies and Bungles, so you can't print playoff tickets yet. And stumbling New Englandland all of a sudden has to check it's six for the Dolphins and Jets - I have a feeling the Pastry-rots will have to fight till Week 16 for the East Division.
AFC WILD CARD HOPEFULS
DENVER (8-4) JACKSONVILLE (7-5) MIAMI (6-6) NY JETS (6-6) BALTY-MOORE (6-6) PISSBURGH (6-7)
The Broncoids have a good chance to make it if they can split their last two games, which could be CrOakland and KC. The other two are Indy and Philty away. Rotzaruck with that. Same deal with Jacksonville. Miami has a more favorable schedule than the Jets, but one of those HUGE pivital games is against the Jaggy-whyers. The dark horse here is the Ravens, who have a very doable final four against the Leos, Da Bears, Pissburgh and CrOakland. If you can, tuning into the Quothers for the remainder of the regular season could be quithe entertaining. And while the Squeelers could theoretically win their last three to go 9-7, so many tie breakers work AGAINST them, that really, math is their only ally right now. And this team, after losing to three of the league's bottom feeders in succession, is done.
AFC ON LIFE SUPPORT
TENNESSEE (5-7) HOUSTON (5-7) BUFFALO (4-8) CrOAKLAND (4-8)
Math keeps these guys in the picture, but really, the draft is in future of these guys, and not much else beyond spoiler.
AFC CASEY CLAUSSEN SWEEPSTAKES
KANSAS CITY (3-9) CLEVELANDLAND (2-11)
The Chefs have Matt Cassel. The Brownies have, uh, yeah, they want the Domer. They've got a shot, as their big game was played two nights ago.
NFC DIVISION LEADERS
NEW ORLEANS (12-0) MINI-SODA (10-2) DALLAS (8-4) ARID-ZONA (8-4)
The Saints have won their division, and will likely be playing in the Superdome for their first shot at the Super Bowl. They are truly the NFC's version of the '07 Pastry-rots. Unstoppable offensively, and good enough on defense to outscore ANYONE. Seeing them go undefeated will be the story of the rest of the season. And the Favres have FINALLY started to wear out! See! Just like I told you. Watch what happens when the Bungles roll in and tattoo the old man. The Cowpuppies are in a death match with the GEEEEEEEmen and Fleeeguls and December. Look out, Jerry. And unless Samauri's boys mount a rally, the Cardy-noles should be set for a second consecutive division title.
NFC WILD CARD HOPEFULS
PHILTHYDELPHIA (8-4) GREEN BAY (8-4) NEW YORK GEEEEEMEN (7-5) ATLANTA (6-6)
In this contest, the G'ints and Iggles will knock one of the other out of the chase. Things will get quite interesting if the GeeMen prevail this Sunday night. And the Packers are in great shape right now, because the schedule favours an 11-5 finish. Theoretically, the Duckies could go 10-6 and challenge, but they are far too depleted to mount a serious challenge. They will fade and only have second place in the Saints-dominated South to fight for, because the Panthers are a game behind.
NFC ON MATH SUPPORT
CHICAGO (5-7) CAROLINA (5-7) SAN FRANCISCO (5-7) SEATTLE (5-7)
During the Bo Jackson heydey, a cool Nike commercial had Bo doing all kinds of things with the stars of the day, who would say "Bo knows golf! Racing! Tennis! etc..
And during the hockey segment, Gretzky skated up and simply said -
uhhhh------
NO.
Not even spoiler.
NFC CASEY CLAUSSEN SWEEPSTAKES
WARSHINGTOON (3-9) DETROIT (2-9) TAMPA BAY (1-11) SAD LOUIS (1-11)
A dismal end to the season awaits this quartet. Josh Freeman had better spruce up his resume. Either the Suckaneers or Lambs are gonna make a big play for Chuckie Weiss' former pet QB.
So that's my view of the league at the home stretch - So how does the CSS see it coming down?
In the AFC, of course, the Colts get home field, but I think MIAMI, yes, the DOLPHINS overtake the Pastry-rots who COULD collapse at home against Carolina, and it's a forgone conclusion that the Bungles could NOT POSSIBLY bungle up their stranglehold on the division. I think the Chargers take the West, and the Broncoids snag one of the wild cards, and the Jaggy-whyers take the other spot. An Indy-Cincy championship game sounds great, but come on, you know the Colts are coming out of this conference.
In the NFC, the Saints are annointed with the Dome Field Advantage, and PHILTHY, YES, the IGGLES, win the division. The Favres, by virtue of their sweep of the former Favres, win the Norris, and Arid-Zona takes the division this weekend. And the Cowpuppies FINALLY get off the playoff schinde and get a wild card spot, as do the terrific Packers. Aaron Rogers will do what he can against the Saints, but the Black and Gold prevail, and all kinds of "Princess and the Frog" tie ins make the made-for Disney Saints story a kitschky back up for
SUPER BOWL XLIV whose winner I would not even begin to predict, only that it could go down as the highest scoring contest since Jake Delhomme got into a throwin' contest with Tommy Terrific.
Thank you so much, fanz, for continuing to read my drivel, and thanks so much, Lauren, for the great anniversary gifts of super-sized wine goblets that hold a half-bottle of wine that made a nice buzz with the quartely report. Another goblet accompanies me for the weekly handicap! Stay tuned!
Gotta Comment?
E-mail me, The Cedar Street Seer
CaptnTee@aol.com
A brutal stretch of days at the day job has gotten me to the keyboard on Saturdays only, and for brief stretches only. But I made a committment to keep blogging for the site, and I am VERY passionate about the league, even though the Panthers are quite the dissappointment this year. So, with four games left to go, there's plenty to figger out, but some playoff certainties.
Here's the big picture.
AFC DIVISION LEADERS
INDIANAPOLIS (12-0) CINCINATTI (9-3) SAN DIEGO (9-3) NEW ENGLANDLAND (7-5)
Of these four, The Colts have clinched. Another pair of wins probably guarantees a first-round bye and home field. The Bungles are win away from clinching the Norris Division, but San Diego all of a sudden has a resurgent Denver team a game behind. The Chargers have challenging games against the Cowbabies and Bungles, so you can't print playoff tickets yet. And stumbling New Englandland all of a sudden has to check it's six for the Dolphins and Jets - I have a feeling the Pastry-rots will have to fight till Week 16 for the East Division.
AFC WILD CARD HOPEFULS
DENVER (8-4) JACKSONVILLE (7-5) MIAMI (6-6) NY JETS (6-6) BALTY-MOORE (6-6) PISSBURGH (6-7)
The Broncoids have a good chance to make it if they can split their last two games, which could be CrOakland and KC. The other two are Indy and Philty away. Rotzaruck with that. Same deal with Jacksonville. Miami has a more favorable schedule than the Jets, but one of those HUGE pivital games is against the Jaggy-whyers. The dark horse here is the Ravens, who have a very doable final four against the Leos, Da Bears, Pissburgh and CrOakland. If you can, tuning into the Quothers for the remainder of the regular season could be quithe entertaining. And while the Squeelers could theoretically win their last three to go 9-7, so many tie breakers work AGAINST them, that really, math is their only ally right now. And this team, after losing to three of the league's bottom feeders in succession, is done.
AFC ON LIFE SUPPORT
TENNESSEE (5-7) HOUSTON (5-7) BUFFALO (4-8) CrOAKLAND (4-8)
Math keeps these guys in the picture, but really, the draft is in future of these guys, and not much else beyond spoiler.
AFC CASEY CLAUSSEN SWEEPSTAKES
KANSAS CITY (3-9) CLEVELANDLAND (2-11)
The Chefs have Matt Cassel. The Brownies have, uh, yeah, they want the Domer. They've got a shot, as their big game was played two nights ago.
NFC DIVISION LEADERS
NEW ORLEANS (12-0) MINI-SODA (10-2) DALLAS (8-4) ARID-ZONA (8-4)
The Saints have won their division, and will likely be playing in the Superdome for their first shot at the Super Bowl. They are truly the NFC's version of the '07 Pastry-rots. Unstoppable offensively, and good enough on defense to outscore ANYONE. Seeing them go undefeated will be the story of the rest of the season. And the Favres have FINALLY started to wear out! See! Just like I told you. Watch what happens when the Bungles roll in and tattoo the old man. The Cowpuppies are in a death match with the GEEEEEEEmen and Fleeeguls and December. Look out, Jerry. And unless Samauri's boys mount a rally, the Cardy-noles should be set for a second consecutive division title.
NFC WILD CARD HOPEFULS
PHILTHYDELPHIA (8-4) GREEN BAY (8-4) NEW YORK GEEEEEMEN (7-5) ATLANTA (6-6)
In this contest, the G'ints and Iggles will knock one of the other out of the chase. Things will get quite interesting if the GeeMen prevail this Sunday night. And the Packers are in great shape right now, because the schedule favours an 11-5 finish. Theoretically, the Duckies could go 10-6 and challenge, but they are far too depleted to mount a serious challenge. They will fade and only have second place in the Saints-dominated South to fight for, because the Panthers are a game behind.
NFC ON MATH SUPPORT
CHICAGO (5-7) CAROLINA (5-7) SAN FRANCISCO (5-7) SEATTLE (5-7)
During the Bo Jackson heydey, a cool Nike commercial had Bo doing all kinds of things with the stars of the day, who would say "Bo knows golf! Racing! Tennis! etc..
And during the hockey segment, Gretzky skated up and simply said -
uhhhh------
NO.
Not even spoiler.
NFC CASEY CLAUSSEN SWEEPSTAKES
WARSHINGTOON (3-9) DETROIT (2-9) TAMPA BAY (1-11) SAD LOUIS (1-11)
A dismal end to the season awaits this quartet. Josh Freeman had better spruce up his resume. Either the Suckaneers or Lambs are gonna make a big play for Chuckie Weiss' former pet QB.
So that's my view of the league at the home stretch - So how does the CSS see it coming down?
In the AFC, of course, the Colts get home field, but I think MIAMI, yes, the DOLPHINS overtake the Pastry-rots who COULD collapse at home against Carolina, and it's a forgone conclusion that the Bungles could NOT POSSIBLY bungle up their stranglehold on the division. I think the Chargers take the West, and the Broncoids snag one of the wild cards, and the Jaggy-whyers take the other spot. An Indy-Cincy championship game sounds great, but come on, you know the Colts are coming out of this conference.
In the NFC, the Saints are annointed with the Dome Field Advantage, and PHILTHY, YES, the IGGLES, win the division. The Favres, by virtue of their sweep of the former Favres, win the Norris, and Arid-Zona takes the division this weekend. And the Cowpuppies FINALLY get off the playoff schinde and get a wild card spot, as do the terrific Packers. Aaron Rogers will do what he can against the Saints, but the Black and Gold prevail, and all kinds of "Princess and the Frog" tie ins make the made-for Disney Saints story a kitschky back up for
SUPER BOWL XLIV whose winner I would not even begin to predict, only that it could go down as the highest scoring contest since Jake Delhomme got into a throwin' contest with Tommy Terrific.
Thank you so much, fanz, for continuing to read my drivel, and thanks so much, Lauren, for the great anniversary gifts of super-sized wine goblets that hold a half-bottle of wine that made a nice buzz with the quartely report. Another goblet accompanies me for the weekly handicap! Stay tuned!
Gotta Comment?
E-mail me, The Cedar Street Seer
CaptnTee@aol.com
CLACK CLACK CLACK!!!!
In the days of yore, circa 1980's, when the "Love House" was full of all kinds of debauchery that any frat boy would find cozy, events like watching sports were quite entertaining with the cast of charachters that usually assembled there. When most of the room were pulling for, say, the Tar Heels, a fatal misstep by the True Blue would find the propietor of the Love House, Fayette Jefferies Cloud, King Hed-ian, and NC SNAKE supreme commander, shouting -
CLACK CLACK CLACK! WOLFPACK! NC SNAKES R WIGGLIN!!!
or you could take any assemblage of nouns, adjectives, and add CLACK CLACK CLACK to it and it became a very effective and annoying derisive chant.
And Jeff was great at it.
And in watching the death throes of the Pissburgh Squeelers at the hands of the very WORST team in the league, those three words rose to my throat, and I exclaimed to no one in particular, Jeffie Love's favorite heckle. And I wanted to see those obnoxious arrogant Squeeler fans writhe in disgust at misfortune of the World CHUMPions. Especially that Keystone State goober SQUEELER MARK who calls into the WFNZ radio shows, and continuously puts down the Panthers, while extolling the might of his team.
But a sobering thought came to me yesterday.
The Squeelers are the chosen blueprint for the Big Cat and the team the PSL bought.
How is it that powerful teams from last year so underachieved this year?
A great safety makes a difference, but HOW DO YOU LOSE TO THE THREE WORST TEAMS IN THE LEAGUE! IN SUCCESSION!??
Small comfort in the fact we at least died with our boots on in losses to the Saints, Cowpuppies and Duckies, and Buffalo DID beat the Dolphins. But if you ask me, I'd rather be the Panthers right now than the Squeelers. Even with the snooze fest of last week's home game that I never had time to "rant" about, and really didn't have much to say. But the misfortune of the Squeelers?
heheheheheheh
At least SQUEELER MARK can't, and WON'T be going
CLACK CLACK CLACK
on the radio any more this year.
Four more games to go. Two more parties to go. A chance at a non-losing season at stake, at most.
I gotta get typing on the quarterly and the handicap.
Stay tuned.
CLACK CLACK CLACK! WOLFPACK! NC SNAKES R WIGGLIN!!!
or you could take any assemblage of nouns, adjectives, and add CLACK CLACK CLACK to it and it became a very effective and annoying derisive chant.
And Jeff was great at it.
And in watching the death throes of the Pissburgh Squeelers at the hands of the very WORST team in the league, those three words rose to my throat, and I exclaimed to no one in particular, Jeffie Love's favorite heckle. And I wanted to see those obnoxious arrogant Squeeler fans writhe in disgust at misfortune of the World CHUMPions. Especially that Keystone State goober SQUEELER MARK who calls into the WFNZ radio shows, and continuously puts down the Panthers, while extolling the might of his team.
But a sobering thought came to me yesterday.
The Squeelers are the chosen blueprint for the Big Cat and the team the PSL bought.
How is it that powerful teams from last year so underachieved this year?
A great safety makes a difference, but HOW DO YOU LOSE TO THE THREE WORST TEAMS IN THE LEAGUE! IN SUCCESSION!??
Small comfort in the fact we at least died with our boots on in losses to the Saints, Cowpuppies and Duckies, and Buffalo DID beat the Dolphins. But if you ask me, I'd rather be the Panthers right now than the Squeelers. Even with the snooze fest of last week's home game that I never had time to "rant" about, and really didn't have much to say. But the misfortune of the Squeelers?
heheheheheheh
At least SQUEELER MARK can't, and WON'T be going
CLACK CLACK CLACK
on the radio any more this year.
Four more games to go. Two more parties to go. A chance at a non-losing season at stake, at most.
I gotta get typing on the quarterly and the handicap.
Stay tuned.
05 December, 2009
THE WEEKLY HANDICAP AND OTHER CLARIVOYANCES - WEEK 13
Good Championship Saturday to you all, Fanz, and I hope you’re as entertained as I am watching the NFL’s farm system perform at it’s best today. ‘Cause you all know it’s Sunday that counts. And at last, here in Week 13, the playoff picture starts to take shape. It’s a certainty that New Orleans and Indianapolis win their divisions, with playoff seeding and staying healthy for the postseason the only factors concerning these clubs. Another certainty? The Panthers won’t be going to the dance, even though the math says there’s still a chance, but let’s get real, folks. At least the Duckies aren’t going, either.
This week, I’ll be offering a truncated list, as I didn’t get to the keyboard in time for the riveting Jets/Bills contest in Toronto. I’ll rip right into this as I want to miss as little as possible the second half of the SEC Championship game.
DENVER @ KANSAS CITY
All of a sudden, the Broncoids have gotten off the mat with an unexpected throttling of the G’ints on Thanksgiving. And the Chefs really disappointed me with their fold in San Diego. But this is at Arrowhead, and I think the Chefs give a little fight for their fans. Gimme the Chefs and the + 4 ½
CrOAKLAND @ PISSBURGH
If this game was being played at the Black Hole, I wouldn’t be so quick to pick the Squeelers, but this is a MAD game for Squeeltown, and Awfulsberger is back. Squeelers by -14 ½.
HOUSTON @ JACKSONVILLE
Amazingly enough, if the playoffs started today, the Jaggy-whyers would be in. This is going to be a body-bag game, and is a pick’em as of now. Too bad Alltel Stadium’s not sold out for this, cause this will be an exciting Jacksonville win.
TENNESSEE @ INDIANAPOLIS
I don’t know why the sports wags have all of a sudden fallen in love with the Titans. Yes, they have won 5 straight and are playing some good ball right now. But this is Peyton’s Place, and they’ve had enough close calls the past few weeks. Colts, easily, by -6 ½.
PHILTHYDELPHIA @ ATLANTA
A pair of wounded boids clash tomorrow, but the worst injuries are on the Duckie side. No Ryan, no Turner means the offense will struggle against the relentless Philthy blitz. McSnabb will find enough receivers to compensate for the loss of DeShawn Jackson. And expect rookie RB LeSean McCoy to make an impact in this game. Gimme the Iggles and the -5 ½.
DETROIT @ CINCINATTI
This is not a time for division leading Cincy to get complacent. Not with the Squeelers and Quothers still alive and with a chance. But I have a dilemma with this one - I refuse to take the Leos to cover the big spread, but almost every time I’ve taken the Bungles to cover one, they fail. I think the Leos might give them a fight, but I’m not bucking the trend. Hesitantly, I take the Bungles at home, and the -13.
NEW ORLEANS @ WARSHINGTOON
This could have all of the signs of a trap game, as this is almost the same team that beat the Saints at home last year around this time. But not this year. The win over the Pastry-Rots was virtually effortless, and although the DeadSkins are playing decent defense, I seriously doubt it will be enough to blunt the WhoDats. Brees and his offense can score, anywhere at anytime from any point on the field. On anyone. Especially the FredSkins. Saints by double digits.
TAMPA BAY @ CAROLINA
PantherNation? You wanted Matt Moore? You got ‘im. But the Suckaneers are actually playing a bit better, and there’s a negative aura around the Panthers these days, and distractions concerning John BEASTon. The defense is crippled in the linebacking corps, and I think the Sucks make a game of it. No DeAngelo means double workload for Jonathan Stewart, who might wear out, forcing Moore to heave the biscuit to a double-covered Steve Smith. I think the Suckaneers cover the +6, and could even win this game against a reeling KittyCat team.
SAD LOUIS @ CHICAGO
Da Bears are another team that went into the season with high hopes, that’s pretty much playing for pride. But Steven Jackson’s having a pretty good year, and I think this is one of those games that will surprise some folks. I gotta hunch. Lambs to cover the +9.
SAN DIEGO @ CLEVELANDLAND
The Bolts are cruising right now, and hitting their stride, at the right time. The Brownies, without a doubt, are the very worst team in the league right now. The results aren’t hard to figger out. San Diego, BIG, covering the -13 ½, easily.
SAN FRANCISCO @ SEATTLE
If Samurai’s boys are gonna challenge for the playoffs, they gotta do it now. And Seattle’s as good a place to start, The bloodletting is beginning for the SeaDogs by cutting loose the GM this week, which indicates further bloodletting to come. It’s a pick-em right now, but I like the Niners to win this one.
MINI-SODA @ ARID-ZONA
I keep sayin’it, one of these weeks, and soon, Brett Favre is going to hit the wall and begin playing like a 40-year old quarterback. This ain’t NASCAR, Brett, where you can be Mark Martin – But you’re safe this week against the Cardy-noles. A very, VERY, bad week for Kurt Warner to come back from a concussion- against that ferocious Favres Defense. The Favres get by this week by -3, but the Bungles await next week…. Stay tuned…
DALLAS @ NY GEEEEEEEMEN
Ok, check calendar – It’s December, so it’s time for the annual Cowbaby swoon. Good place to start against the G’ints – wrong team favoured. Gimme the GEEEEEEEMen and the +2.
NEW ENGLANDLAND @ MIAMI
I thought I’d never see Tommy Terrific get benched by Dr. Evil-Chek. But it happened. A sign of trouble ahead? Against an opportunistic but average defense, the mighty Pastry-Rot juggernaut could only muster 17 points? I think the Dolphins smell blood, and will thump New Englandland. Wrong team favoured –Gimme Miami STRAIGHT UP to win!
BALTY-MOORE @ GREEN BAY
Those ESPN dudes must be thrilled with the third consecutive thrilling contest for Monday night! Here’s a pair of teams still very much alive in the playoff hunt. While there’s no chance the Packers could win the division, a wild card spot is definitely possible for this bunch. The same could be said for the Quothers, who are bringing their punishing defense against one of the most beleaguered offensive lines in the league. The Tundra won’t scare the Ravens. Here’s a name you’ll hear called a few times-
Ed Reed.
Ravens BIG.
That’s the handicap for the week, Fanz. I’m so numb from the holiday and workplace flurry that I’m not even that bothered by the fact I went 6-10 last wek, the same record I’ve predicted for the Panthers back in September –
So, for the season –
86-88
Hooo Boy.
See yers in the lot tomorrow.
Gotta Comment?
Email me, The Cedar Street Seer
CaptnTee@aol.com
This week, I’ll be offering a truncated list, as I didn’t get to the keyboard in time for the riveting Jets/Bills contest in Toronto. I’ll rip right into this as I want to miss as little as possible the second half of the SEC Championship game.
DENVER @ KANSAS CITY
All of a sudden, the Broncoids have gotten off the mat with an unexpected throttling of the G’ints on Thanksgiving. And the Chefs really disappointed me with their fold in San Diego. But this is at Arrowhead, and I think the Chefs give a little fight for their fans. Gimme the Chefs and the + 4 ½
CrOAKLAND @ PISSBURGH
If this game was being played at the Black Hole, I wouldn’t be so quick to pick the Squeelers, but this is a MAD game for Squeeltown, and Awfulsberger is back. Squeelers by -14 ½.
HOUSTON @ JACKSONVILLE
Amazingly enough, if the playoffs started today, the Jaggy-whyers would be in. This is going to be a body-bag game, and is a pick’em as of now. Too bad Alltel Stadium’s not sold out for this, cause this will be an exciting Jacksonville win.
TENNESSEE @ INDIANAPOLIS
I don’t know why the sports wags have all of a sudden fallen in love with the Titans. Yes, they have won 5 straight and are playing some good ball right now. But this is Peyton’s Place, and they’ve had enough close calls the past few weeks. Colts, easily, by -6 ½.
PHILTHYDELPHIA @ ATLANTA
A pair of wounded boids clash tomorrow, but the worst injuries are on the Duckie side. No Ryan, no Turner means the offense will struggle against the relentless Philthy blitz. McSnabb will find enough receivers to compensate for the loss of DeShawn Jackson. And expect rookie RB LeSean McCoy to make an impact in this game. Gimme the Iggles and the -5 ½.
DETROIT @ CINCINATTI
This is not a time for division leading Cincy to get complacent. Not with the Squeelers and Quothers still alive and with a chance. But I have a dilemma with this one - I refuse to take the Leos to cover the big spread, but almost every time I’ve taken the Bungles to cover one, they fail. I think the Leos might give them a fight, but I’m not bucking the trend. Hesitantly, I take the Bungles at home, and the -13.
NEW ORLEANS @ WARSHINGTOON
This could have all of the signs of a trap game, as this is almost the same team that beat the Saints at home last year around this time. But not this year. The win over the Pastry-Rots was virtually effortless, and although the DeadSkins are playing decent defense, I seriously doubt it will be enough to blunt the WhoDats. Brees and his offense can score, anywhere at anytime from any point on the field. On anyone. Especially the FredSkins. Saints by double digits.
TAMPA BAY @ CAROLINA
PantherNation? You wanted Matt Moore? You got ‘im. But the Suckaneers are actually playing a bit better, and there’s a negative aura around the Panthers these days, and distractions concerning John BEASTon. The defense is crippled in the linebacking corps, and I think the Sucks make a game of it. No DeAngelo means double workload for Jonathan Stewart, who might wear out, forcing Moore to heave the biscuit to a double-covered Steve Smith. I think the Suckaneers cover the +6, and could even win this game against a reeling KittyCat team.
SAD LOUIS @ CHICAGO
Da Bears are another team that went into the season with high hopes, that’s pretty much playing for pride. But Steven Jackson’s having a pretty good year, and I think this is one of those games that will surprise some folks. I gotta hunch. Lambs to cover the +9.
SAN DIEGO @ CLEVELANDLAND
The Bolts are cruising right now, and hitting their stride, at the right time. The Brownies, without a doubt, are the very worst team in the league right now. The results aren’t hard to figger out. San Diego, BIG, covering the -13 ½, easily.
SAN FRANCISCO @ SEATTLE
If Samurai’s boys are gonna challenge for the playoffs, they gotta do it now. And Seattle’s as good a place to start, The bloodletting is beginning for the SeaDogs by cutting loose the GM this week, which indicates further bloodletting to come. It’s a pick-em right now, but I like the Niners to win this one.
MINI-SODA @ ARID-ZONA
I keep sayin’it, one of these weeks, and soon, Brett Favre is going to hit the wall and begin playing like a 40-year old quarterback. This ain’t NASCAR, Brett, where you can be Mark Martin – But you’re safe this week against the Cardy-noles. A very, VERY, bad week for Kurt Warner to come back from a concussion- against that ferocious Favres Defense. The Favres get by this week by -3, but the Bungles await next week…. Stay tuned…
DALLAS @ NY GEEEEEEEMEN
Ok, check calendar – It’s December, so it’s time for the annual Cowbaby swoon. Good place to start against the G’ints – wrong team favoured. Gimme the GEEEEEEEMen and the +2.
NEW ENGLANDLAND @ MIAMI
I thought I’d never see Tommy Terrific get benched by Dr. Evil-Chek. But it happened. A sign of trouble ahead? Against an opportunistic but average defense, the mighty Pastry-Rot juggernaut could only muster 17 points? I think the Dolphins smell blood, and will thump New Englandland. Wrong team favoured –Gimme Miami STRAIGHT UP to win!
BALTY-MOORE @ GREEN BAY
Those ESPN dudes must be thrilled with the third consecutive thrilling contest for Monday night! Here’s a pair of teams still very much alive in the playoff hunt. While there’s no chance the Packers could win the division, a wild card spot is definitely possible for this bunch. The same could be said for the Quothers, who are bringing their punishing defense against one of the most beleaguered offensive lines in the league. The Tundra won’t scare the Ravens. Here’s a name you’ll hear called a few times-
Ed Reed.
Ravens BIG.
That’s the handicap for the week, Fanz. I’m so numb from the holiday and workplace flurry that I’m not even that bothered by the fact I went 6-10 last wek, the same record I’ve predicted for the Panthers back in September –
So, for the season –
86-88
Hooo Boy.
See yers in the lot tomorrow.
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