PLAYOFFS??? DON'T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS!!!??? THE WEEKLY HANDICAP AND OTHER PLAYOFF CLARIVOYANCES - ROUND 2

January 9, 2009

Well, Fanz, after a fairly entertaining WildCard weekend, where I was a mediocre 50%, but dead on in picking the Ravens and Cardy-noles, and dead on in identifying Darren Sproles as a difference-maker in the Chargers-Colts game. I stumbled on the Vikings, but now I think I’ve got the ‘ol clairvoyance gland in prime playoff shape as I now handicap the BIG BOYS-

Here I go-

BALTY-MOORE @ TENNESSEE
The weekend divisional matchups start with a real body-bag kind of game between two of the league’s most ferocious defenses. Right now, the Ravens are blazing hot, and I really don’t feel the Titans have an offensive answer for that smothering Raven D. I truly believe that neither offense will be able to put up major yardage, and that field position will be critical, as field goals will constitute most of the scoring. As I thought in the past three games, Ed Reed makes a difference for the Quothers, and will add one more nightmare for Kerry Collins’ Bad Ravens Experiences. And once again, Joey Flacco’s job is not to win the game on offense, just to manage it and not lose it on stupid turnovers. The line is –3 for the Titans, and I’m prepared to make this game a stone-cold mortal LOCK! Ravens straight up to proceed to the Championship game next Sunday!

ARID-ZONA @ CAROLINA
I know most of us have heard every media talking head and pundit break down this game in every imaginable way possible. Basically the contest pits a powerful AND prolific running team with an explosive element to the passing game, against a team that has relied almost exclusively on an air attack. What’s somewhat annoying is the so-called “experts” proclaiming Arid-Zona’s running game back after a “big” 73 yards from a washed-up Edgerrin James. That’s a total load of horses**t! 73 yards on the ground against THIS Panther team won’t amount to SQUAT! The weather conditions in this night game will greatly favour the running game, in which the Panthers lead the league in so many statistical categories, while the Cardy-noles are near the bottom in the same. It will be tough for Warner to fling the biscuit in the rain, which will be their only real chance for victory. The Panthers don’t have that handicap. They will control the line of scrimmage with the powerful road grading offensive line and with Stewilliams, and the game. And – they are rested and healthy. I’m cautiously optimistic that this game does NOT follow the formula of Week 8’s game- So is Vegas- They’ve given the home ‘Cats a humongous –10 point advantage here! Part of me seems to think it ridiculous, but we are NOT the Duckies, and the Cardy-Noles won’t SNIFF OUR snap count, and we’re at home. All of the matchups and statistics point to a blowout by the fourth quarter. Take the Cats and the big spread!

PHILTHYDELPHIA @ NY GEEEMEN
In Sunday’s first tilt, a much-anticipated rematch of bitter divisional opponents highlights the weekend’s games. Much of the sports media have jumped on the Fleegul bandwagon even though they STILL have a suspect rushing attack. Without the serious threat to run, the rested and healthy G’ints will blitz McSnabb relentlessly. Bryan Westbrook is NOT the punishing back that Brandon Jacobs is, although he’s dangerous in short passing situations because of what he can do after the catch. Don’t think the GeeMen have forgotten what Philthydelphia did to them in Week 14 – A healthy Jacobs makes a difference, no matter what Donavan McSnabb throws at them. Eli Manning won’t have to do much more than hand off the ball to his trio of excellent backs, and the Iggles wear down by the second half. Of course, I’d LOVE to see the Iggles win, because THAT guarantees that the NFC Championship game gets played at the BOFA! But I just don’t think the Giants get beat this Sunday, not in this game, not with so much at stake. The line is –4 for the GeeMen, and I’d implore you to take Big Blue.

SAN DIEGO @ PISSBURGH
The last ticket to the leagues’ Final Four gets punched at Heinz Field as the remarkable Chargers try to continue their torrid five-game winning streak, but this isn’t the Colt’s defense. But the fact that this isn’t the Colts’ yardage-eating offense does help the West Coast visitors. WorthlessBerger is sure to be blitzed and blitzed often, and if Willie Parkers’ running can be slowed, I’d expect this game to be a repeat of the Week 11 schlobberknocker. But at this stage of the season, like the Giants, I’m not feeling an upset here. I think Pissburgh’s defense makes a difference here, but I think the Chargers have enough fight in them to make this a close game, especially if they keep Big Ben on the run, and on the ropes. The Squeelers are favoured by –6, but I like the Chargers to cover.

There you go, FanZ, that’s a scrumptious quartet of picks for yer!

See y’all in the lot for a party worthy of The Tailgating Hall of Fame!

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