This Carr Won’t Start

October 28, 2007

Well, Fanz, the debris of Week 8 in the NFL is settling around me, and I’m awaiting the first pitch of what I hope is the final game in the World Series. I just want the Red Sux to put the Blockies out of their misery, because they really don’t have any hope to speak of. Yes, it’s baseball, but seriously, fanz…

Unlike the team we are all pathologically loyal to. There IS hope-

Yes, Virginia, there are a few wins in our future. And THIS YEAR.

Like you, I’m sitting at home, mentally digesting what we saw in the BOFA, and physically digesting the awesome tailgate grub served up by Clay (Lord of the Pit!!) and the supporting PantherFanZ. And to top it off, we enjoyed the company of our brothers from the Great White North. The Canadians really make the tailgate an event to look forward to every year. Too bad we can’t do it more than that.

And for the first time in, well, a year, we had a half of football AT HOME that gave us reason to cheer. Sitting in my beloved spot, my wife and I were amazed at the ELEVEN MINUTE drive to open the game! If we were going to beat the Mighty Colts, THIS was the way to do it! Vinnie TESTOSTERONE led a PERFECT drive that culminated in a touchdown, and the defense absolutely GOT AFTER Peyton and his horseshoe adorned comrades and if I’m not mistaken, held that irresistible offense WITHOUT A FIRST DOWN for most of the half! You all saw it, too! Even Vinnie’s unfortunate pick in the end zone didn’t diminish my hope- The Colts promptly three-and outed, and we were down by only three to this vaunted team. There was bona fide- HOPE! The team looked like they had responded to the coaching, and to Testaverde.

Start the second half.

When Carr was announced as the QB, the stadium let out a collective groan. Fair to Carr? Maybe not. I actually felt bad for him to hear the clear and loudly voiced boos. But it was as if the power switch was turned off on this team. The offense, defense, and special teams disappeared, and Indy rolled up twenty-one unanswered points. The one scoring threat we had evaporated with a Jeff King fumble. This was a complete reversal of the home opener against Jacksonville in ’03. How terribly depressing to watch this continuing home field DISadvantage. Now, we’ve found out that Vinny has an ankle injury. How bad has yet to be determined, but I’m thinking that Fox wanted to compare his two QB’s in a regular season situation that just wasn’t critical to the division race. With a mere ten-point deficit, this Carr simply wasn’t equipped to drive very far. The offense simply doesn’t seem to respond to his (lack of) leadership, and with no offensive support, the defense ran out of gas in the face of the resurgent Colts attack, which is understandable.

But my feeling is that the Carr option at quarterback for the Carolina Panthers is a failure. If the team is forced to use this shell-shocked and ineffective football player for an extended period, the season may be lost, unless David Carr has a SERIOUS change of game management, mechanics, and perception from his teammates.

That ain’t gonna happen.

I just hope they can wrap Vinny’s ankle extra tight. He is our best, and perhaps ONLY hope for victory, unless Matt Moore proves to be a NFL-caliber quarterback. Because right now, I’m convinced David Carr is NOT an NFL caliber quarterback. And I can just see Foxy say, “Well, if he’s in the NFL, he’s a NFL quarterback.”

Sorry, Foxy. He’s not. The leadership qualities, the toughness, the skill, the vision, the game management- They are simply not there. He is certainly an athlete. I will give him that. He was impressive enough in college to be a top pick. So was Brian Bosworth. So was that bust of a OL in Green Bay, Tony Mandarich- NFL almanacs are full of first rounders who just couldn’t cut it. I can’t see how David Carr escapes induction in this hall of dishonor. But hey, Dave- look on the bright side-

You could be a gay fashion model! With the political correctness machine telling us there’s nothing wrong with that lifestyle, you could make lots of hay on your gay sex appeal, even if you’re not! But as they said in that classic Bill Murray movie “Stripes”- you could be willing to learn!

And speaking of bright sides-

Here’s the sunny sector for the Panthers-

You won’t believe this, but it’s true.

We are STILL in first place in our woeful division as of this writing. And we have a trip to Tennessee to meet the Kerry Collins led Titans coming up. KERRY COLLINS! Speaking of QB’s that just can’t cut it. With a visit from the Duckies to follow, things just don’t look that terrible. In this division race, losing to the Colts just wasn’t that bad- EVERY team in our division has lost to the Colts. (Uh, flash for you Cedar Street Seer- the Duckies haven’t played them yet-) Big deal. Losing to the Colts this year is like my daughter Lauren getting in the ring with Mike Tyson. The only shame in losing to the Colts today is the fashion in which we lost in the second half.
So, looking at the big picture, there IS reason to have hope!

With ONE big IF-

IF Vinnie Testosterone can return to practice, and game action soon.

Ok, TWO big Ifs-

IF Matt Moore can play NFL quarterback.

Ok, THREE big Ifs-

IF David Carr can turn things arou- uhh,

TWO big If’s.


This NFL season has many twists and turns, and no team is immune from the injury bug. What happens to the invincible Colts or Pastry-Rots if Manning or Brady goes down? Many of the teams we are facing down the road are dealing with this. The Titans. The Duckies. The Jag-you-wyres. The Phoney-Niners. The SeaDogs. I STILL see maybe TEN WINS in this team! As Mark “Pack-Man” Packer” says, “you gotta go play.” And so we will.

Just one thing John Fox.

Please, please, please-

Don’t start the Carr.

I await our tilt with Tennessee with great anticipation. This ride’s still rough, but somehow still worth it. Hang on with me, Fanz!

Gotta comment? E-mail me, The Cedar Street Seer

CaptnTee@aol.com