15 October, 2007

Steps in the right direction

October 15, 2007

I’m digesting what I saw Sunday Afternoon, Fanz-

I’m cautiously giddy about the victory- But I’m beginning to feel like I put new tires on a ’68 Camaro that’s in dire need of body work.

Ok, insert your Vinny Testicle joke here.

To be honest, for the first time this season, we’ve seen a defense play with HONEST – TO – GOD EFFORT. And it was as wonderful to see as an oasis in a desert. The irony is not lost on me as I write that last sentence. The Cardi-noles are no longer an NFL pushover. They are putting together a really decent team that’s capable of competing at this level. Of course, they suddenly found themselves running their potent offense without their starting QB-

Oh, forgive me for sobbing an ocean of tears in empathy for you.

We started Vinny freakin’ TESTICLE, who had his hand diggin’ in a sack o’ chips watching Monday Night Football SIX DAYS AGO-

But while Vinny gets the ink, to me, the defense really gets the credit for this wind. If Chris Gamble doesn’t make a girly man-tackle on Edgerin James, perhaps ‘Zona never sniffs the end zone. THIS, This, Foxy and Turkey-Vac, is the Panther Defense we’ve come to appreciate since you came here. But hear this gentlemen-

To me, this one performance does not give you a pass. Not for ONE EFFIN’ MINUTE!!! I’m recalling an impassioned John Fox imploring his defense to “APPLY THE PRESSURE!!! DON’T FEEL IT!!!” Time to bring that speech back, Foxy- The bye is here, and now come the toughest stretch of games we have had to play in years. We’ve seen the Road Warrior act- NOW-


And until you do, I remain silent in the stands. STILL.

Here come the Colts. The super powerful, unbeatable Indianapolis Dolts. World Champions. With a QB that appears in every commercial on TV it seems. Can we possibly beat these guys? I don’t think there’s one pundit, including possibly the Cedar Street Seer, that believes we have a chance come October 28th. But how’s this?
On a nice fall afternoon two years ago, we did the very same thing to a Bill Belichek led, Tom Brady QB’ed New Englandland Pastry-Rots!
At home, believe it or not. If we play like we did yesterday, why not?
Yesterday, I saw significant progress in all phases of our game. I was most impressed with the effort on D, as I stated before, but also pleasantly pleased with the play of Vinny Testeverde, see, I didn’t even call him a TESTICLE this time! I remember posting a comment about Jake having that special leadership quality – The way the offense responded to Vinny yesterday has me thinking perhaps he possesses the same qualities. Of course, it’s one game, but perhaps that’s the jumping off point- My mind hearkens back to a gorgeous home opener back in ’03- Go there with me for a moment, will you?

A lifeless Panther team flops around with Rodney Pete at QB. Enter Jake DelHomme. And we didn’t look back until Adam Vinateri spiked us in the heart after one of the most entertaining and exciting Super Bowls ever played. Kinda just like Brain’s big screen plasma Samsung that was struggling with analog before Dano the 12th Man tweaks it and all of a sudden, we’re seeing a masterpiece unfold in HD! The irony is not lost on me that the team put it in overdrive once HeroDano made that move. I’m feeling a similar vibe with Carr, and Vinny. To which I am making an impassioned plea-


I’ve made the statement before that athletes at this level are all capable. And they are. Some though, have that quality that makes them that much better than others. And Vinny has that. Carr- well, we’re unsure. The offense has not responded to him in three weeks as they have to Vinny in THREE DAYS!!! Don’t be a fool, Foxy. The season is at stake. And while we’re at it-

Don’t start Danielle Morgan. That fragile body has a mind that can hit you into next Wednesday, but a body that breaks the moment that notion’s put to flesh. You are DONE, Dan! Retire while you can still walk- this defense has shown we can be above average without you. Jon Beason will see to that.

And while we’re talking about phases of the game, the one that STILL needs the most work is our Special Teams coverage/return units. And although we DID show improvement yesterday, it’s still our weakest element. The coaching there MUST improve. It’s good to see Ryne Robinson make a bit of an effort there, and getting Smitty back there once in a while, sorry guys, I still think it’s a good ideal. But overall, our performance yesterday is still light years ahead of the past four weeks. And given that performance- The Carolina Panthers are 4-2 in the annual derby that is the NFL season. Who in our conference is better than that? Dallas and Green Bay? That’s it. And we get to play them both. Beatable? You bet, if we play like yesterday. If we get Romo The Homo to turn the ball over SIX TIMES like he did at Beefalo, I GAR-IN-DAMM-TEE ya we beat the snot outta them. Who else in our conference has an equal record? Tampa Bay. Who else?
And after the steaming pile of s**t we’ve had to watch over the past four weeks, we are in an exclusive group of FOUR TEAMS??!!

Why not us? Why not US to hand Indy their first loss? Why not us to go up to Green Bay and shred the Heads? Don’t think we’ve got the team? Nonsense. Of course, it COULD all turn right back in the opposite direction, and we can lose to every team left on the schedule. But here’s an intangible- Testeverde sounds an AWFUL lot like Testosterone, that rarified substance that makes men supermen, and makes women CRAVE men. The REAL San Francisco Treat. The substance that dripped off of every bit of John Wayne, and the substance that helps us all sleep soundly at night knowing Jack Bauer is defending our country from hostiles seen and unseen-

Just something to think about.

Meanwhile, the coaster takes a nice scenic breather as we roll back home to the next bumpy part of our ride, which all of a sudden, doesn’t look so bad- But hang on anyway, Fanz…………

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