***SIGH!***
6-8.
You know, sometimes you're the hammer, and other times…
Ahhh, you know.
This week has what I think are going to be some unwatchable blowouts, and some, unwatchable contests between really bad teams. The start line between the haves and have-nots are quite stark this week. Parity? What Parity? Pete Rozelle can't be pleased watching from his heavenly viewing lounge. Here comes the beatdowns…
Starting with…
MINI-SODA @ SAD LOUIS
I just couldn't stay away from this Monday's game. Oh, the drama. The sickening adulation of an over-the hill quarterback, I don't care what the star-struck media says. Favre's PEERS had voted him this week as the game's NUMBER ONE MOST OVERRATED PLAYER! What does that tell you? What Brett's good fortune is, is that he plays on a team with a ferocious defense and a dazzling running game. Favre could throw five picks and STILL, the Vikings would blow the Lambs out of their own stadium. Brad Childress knows this, too, he has to. So Brett, just hand off to A.P, and let the defense do the rest. The line is a WIMPY 9 ½, and the Vikings feast on Lamb like their brethren on the Capital One commercials.
DALLAS @ KANSAS CITY
Make no mistake, Dallas CAN be scored upon, but their offensive line and rushing attack are hard to stop, especially if you are giving up yards like the Chefs are. It's the Cowpuppies, yes, and the stadium will be jacked up. But there's a talent differential that can't be made up this Sunday. Enjoy this one, Cowbaby fans. You won't have too many like this one this season. Dallas laughs all the way to – 8 ½.
WARSHINGTOON @ CAROLINA
This is the crossroads game for the Panthers. They are either going to regain some kind of competitive fire, or they are on their way to being very, very, bad. They have too much talent to be so listless. Not on this Sunday. Remember last year's preseason matchup with the FredSkins? I do. They were superior at every position, and I think they take advantage of it here. Warshingtoon won games against the Lambs and Suckaneers on a prayer, and they'll be put in their place this week. Panthers get a feel-good game, at least this week. By 3 ½, easy.
TAMPA BAY @ PHILTHYDELPHIA
McSnabb makes his return on a fortuitous day. The Suckaneers come to town. Westbrook is healthy again. Take a seat, #7. Yet, ANOTHER blowout. Iggles by 14 ½.
CrOAKLAND @ NY GEEMEN
Believe it or not, this is the game I feel weird about. Brotha Manning is nursing a plantar fasciitis, and from experience with Kathie, who suffers from it chronically, I know once it starts, it lingers for a long, long time. If he's too sore to go, guess who goes behind center?
You got it.
DINKY CARR.
I'm going to qualifiy my handicap here. If Carr starts (!)(oxymoron alert!) The Schraiders cover. If Brotha Manning plays AT LEAST a half, the GEEEMen cover.
And it's a bunchapoints. Biggest line of the day at 15 ½. Dinky Carr pushes it to the Schraiders, Eli's a coverin' machine, even with 15 ½ points.
CLEVELANDLAND @ BUFFALO
A game that means something only to folks within driving distance of Lakes Erie and Ontario. These are two teams with serious talent gaps. Oh, yeah, there's TO. In this game, not a difference maker. The Brownies fought hard at home in the first Battle of Ohio, and they'll fight hard here. They just won't win. Buffalo and the -6, which seems a little large to me.
CINCINATTI @ BALTY-MOORE
For a dropped Mark Clayton pass, we could be talking about the undefeated Balty-moore Ravens. NOW they're PISSED. And the Squeelers are just a game back. Hey Bungles, you think the Squeelers hit you hard? Wait till Sunday. I quothe - 8 ½ for Baltymoore!
PISSBURGH @ DETROIT
Bad news, Leos. Pissburgh found their lost running game. Sucks for you. Squeelers big, -10 ½.
ATLANTA @ SAN FRANCISCO
The best games of the day will be the late afternoon ones. Starting with this one. Samauri's already notched nice wins against the Cardy-noles and Seahawks, and came within a dingleberry of beating the Vikings at home. All they need to do is get into Matt Ryan's face and they have an edge. The Duckies won't be an easy out, but they're very beatable here. Niners and – 2 ½.
NEW ENGLANDLAND @ DENVER
I believe in my last post, that I will never, ever, discount a team with a savage, inhuman safety in their defensive backfield. I've always had a marked admiration for those human Exocet missiles that launch themselves without regard for personal well being. Like Brian Dawins. The Denver defense will get in Brady's face often, and they'll make a game of this. Which is why I like Denver to cover that paltry +3 points.
HOUSTON @ ARID-ZONA
If you like points and touchdowns, and sailing arcs to speedy wide receivers, this is your game. These defenses aren't' stopping too many teams. Last team with the ball will win. But I do like Houston to cover the + 5 1/2.
JACKSONVILLE @ SEATTLE
The Jaggy-whyers have found something that was missing in their game from last year. INTENSITY. EXCECUTION. They will bring them to bear on a hurting Seattle team. The line is off, but I like the Jags, straight up!
INDIANAPOLIS @ TENNESSEE
Come on, who are we kidding here? The Titan's secondary has been miserable so far this season, and Kerry Collins all of a sudden couldn't hit the side of the Party Prowler standing on Dano's LoserCruiser! And the OthaBrotha is having a incredible start to the season. Blowout, blowout, blowout. You can go to bed at halftime knowing you will wake up the next morning with one team STILL undefeated, and the other –
A woeful, season-gutting 0-5.
I feel purty dang good about this one, fanz. I'm looking forward to being 13-0 coming Monday Night!
Last week – (yecchh!) 6-8
Season – 35 -27
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Email me, The Cedar Street Seer
CaptnTee@aol.com
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