NINE YEARS OF FUTILITY-AND COUNTING-

November 13th, 2008

In 2001, one of the oldest franchises in the NFL made a fateful decision that hamstrung them in so many convoluted ways. The Ford family, owners of the Detroit Lions, hired a man who had ZERO football operations experience. They hired a man who was a good linebacker, with ONE ProBowl selection, with his share of Super Bowl rings, and a serviceable broadcasting career.

They hired Matt Millen to be the general manager of an NFL franchise.

Before I dive into the mess that Millen hath wrought, I look back at the franchise that pulled the switch to give this man the power to make utterly miserable the entire fan base of Michigan.

The Portsmouth Spartans organized a semi-professional team in city of the same name in Ohio in 1929. In 1930, they joined the fledgling NFL along with the Decatur Staleys, the Phoen, uh, Ariz- uh, St. Loui- uh, CHICAGO Cardinals, and Green Bay Packers. In 1934, a Detroit radio mogul bought the team, moved them to Motown, and renamed them LIONS, intending them to be the “monarchs of the NFL”. In 1935 they won their first championship. The Thanksgiving Day game tradition was also established at this time. They remained strong for the remainder of the decade, and became average in the 40’s. In the 50’s, they dominated the NFL with the play of Hall of Famer Bobby Lane at quarterback. After he suffered a career-threatening injury in 1958, the Lions traded him to Pittsburgh. Deeply insulted, Bobby declared “The Lions will not win for 50 years!” For the next twenty years, it had appeared the “Curse of the BOB-INO” would take hold of the franchise much like Ruth’s curse afflicted the BoSox. During this period, W.C. Ford, Sr. bought the team, and made plans to stick his team in the now-demolished Silverdome. A brief tease for the fans came with Billy Sims in the early eighties, but a knee injury ended his career in ’84, and suckage followed. And then, in 1991, they drafted Barry Sanders, who lit up the league with his dazzling running. At last, the team was relevant, posting winning season after winning season, even beating the hated Cowboys in the the playoffs (which was their ONLY playoff win since 1957!). A 5-11 season got coach Wayne Fontes canned in ’96, and Bobby Ross got them right back into the winning column, and the playoffs once again. Abruptly, Barry Sanders retired in 1998, and in 2000, so did Ross.

Enter Matt Millen.

A string of bad coaching hires, bad draft choices (How about Joey-bag-0-donuts Harrington?) have left the Detroit Lions with the worst winning percentage in the decade. Things had been so bad for the team, that Millen has been recorded to have admitted to an interviewer that his performance as a GM was “beyond awful, and worthy of having one’s balls shot off!” In the NFL executive circles, Millen was considered to have made more draft mistakes than anyone else COMBINED in the past century. So how, in the name of anything that’s sensible, did someone SO INCOMPETENT hang around in Detroit? How do individuals that run one of the oldest and most successful (until now) car manufacturers allow this kind of mismanagement in a once-proud NFL franchise? WC Ford was quoted to have said that Millen was the “best executive the franchise has ever had”.

IS HE NUTS!!!???

No wonder Ford’s been struggling. It’s widely known in corporate musings that WC is pathologically loyal, in ways that make Foxy look like Donald Trump.

With poor draft choices, mediocre coaching staffs, poor ticket sales, weak TV revenue, and no real hope for a winning team anytime soon, it stands as the legacy of Millen, and the rebirth of Layne’s curse. Of course, it can’t be all Millen. Like Al Davis with the Schraiders, WC Ford has GOT to be held accountable for the mismanagement of the Lions. Not until son and heir, Billy Ford, started griping about the failure of Millen, did WC actually do something that actually energized the fan base. What’s sad is that the Michigan fan base actually WANTS the indignity of an 0-16 season! Can you believe that!!?? One could firmly assign the blame on Millen, but as I’m writing this, I’m beginning to believe in Ford’s culpability in the unbelievable mess. Perhaps he, like Davis, needs to take a long, hard, look in the mirror, and accept responsibility for it, and hire a real football man, and get out of the way. I’m inclined to believe it would happen for Detroit MUCH sooner than for Oakland. And as I posted last week, one with intimate knowledge of the situation could elaborate on this festering doo-doo pile much more eloquently and thoroughly than me.

I had titled this rant “Nine Years of Futility and Counting-“ and I realize this may be uber-conservative. This was based on their last APPEARANCE in the playoffs. If you factor in the lack of a playoff WIN, we are talking 17 YEARS of futility! If you are factoring in a league CHAMPIONSHIP, we are talking FIFTY-TWO YEARS OF GUT-WRENCHING FAILURE that approaches RedSoxian or Cubbian proportions.

And as this team with no recent tradition of winning comes into the BOFA this weekend, take a moment to reflect on their history, think about the beleaguered fan base and how long they’ve suffered, and hope that the Panthers -

BEAT THEIR BRAINS OUT!!! They ain’t gittin’ NO sympathy from me! The Lie-uns, although they don’t deserve it, ARE GONNA PAY FOR THAT STINKER JAKE TOSSED in crOakland last week, I guarantee it. The Duckies and Buckies are breathin’ down our necks, and this is an absolute GOTTA NEEDA MUSTA GETTA HAVA WIN. If we don’t put the game away IN THE FIRST HALF, the season all of a sudden is made so much tougher, and so unnecessarily so.

Honestly, I don’t think we’ve got anything to worry about.

This week.

The Duckies are next week. And that’s going to be a whole different game, and the crucible of the season begins.

Let’s party hard with the vets and Clay’s great pit, and have a great time, a great win, and I’ll see y’all in the lot!

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