November 4th, 2008
Well, FanZ, this MOST ENTERTAINING NFL season has reached it’s halfway point with all of it’s teams having played at least eight games, and now we can start making some rational thoughts as to how the rest of the season unfolds for them. It’s even MORE fun since the traditional NFL powers are having to fight tooth and claw, the Panthers are relevant, and the Cowpuppies are not. Here’s my thoughts, as I’ll now group them by conference, and by record.
AFC DIVISION LEADERS
Tied for first-NEW ENGLANDLAND, NEW YORK BRETTS, BUFFALO (all at 5-3)
Sole possession of first-TENNESSEE (8-0), PISSBURGH (6-2), DENVER (4-4)
What a contest the East has become! The Brets have become legitimate contenders with a convincing victory over the Bills in THEIR HOUSE! The Bills, on the other hand, have completely lost the momentum built in their awesome 4-0 start, which all of a sudden doesn’t look so awesome anymore. The Patsies have gone from jaw-droppingly invincible last year, to simply average this year. It’s likely that one of these teams fails to make the postseason, if not two. All three have games against the MISERABLE NFC WORST, but they also have brutal games against each other, and the regular AFC powers. I think that the Patsies have the toughest one. At the start of the season I had predicted it would be the Pastry-Rots missing the playoffs, and I’m stickin’ with that. The Titans are legit. There is no question in my mind, while they will most likely get beat at some point this season, they will claim home field advantage first in the league. Pissburgh has to fend off the resurgent Ravens, and it’s yet to be seen whether the offense can match their ferocious defense. The line’s done a miserable job of protecting Big Ben, and at this writing, Byron Leftwich has officially replaced him in the lineup. The Broncoids are fading, and could possibly be caught next weekend by the Chargers. If they win their woeful division, it will be by default, and even possibly with a losing record. Their exit from the playoffs will be quick and without drama.
AFC AT OR ABOVE 500
BALTIMORE (5-3), MIAMI, INDIANAPOLIS (both at 4-4)
The Ravens are getting stellar play from their defense, as usual, but better than expected play from their offense- The schedule is half weak, half tough, but their defense can keep them in all of their remaining games. I never thought that The Dull-fins would be this competitive, this quick, although I do wish they weren’t getting so much credit for this “Wildcat” formation that our dearly departed OC Henning unveiled against the Duckies two years ago featuring DeAngelo Williams. There’s a VERY REAL CHANCE that they could challenge the Patsies, BRETTS, and Bills for the division. And if not, they are in prime, prime, prime position to play spoiler for anyone fighting for playoff position this year. Any team with Miami coming up on their schedule this year had BETTER take them seriously from here on out. The Colts just saved their season for now with the CRITICAL victory over NewEnglandLand, but the chance to win the division is LONG gone barring a TOTAL collapse of the Titans. Ain’t gonna happen. If they can play at the level they’ve played at and suffer no further injuries at key positions, they could be in position for a wild card berth, but it will be for a sixth seed, which will entail a TOUGH game against an East or North divisional foe.
AFC LOSING RECORD, BUT HOPE REMAINS-
HOUSTON, CLEVELANDLAND, SAN DIEGO (all at 3-5)
Mathematically, these three still have a chance, but realistically, only San Diego has a shot, because Denver is so ordinary in the moribound AFC Worst. Other than Pissburgh and possibly Tampa, the schedule for the Bolts is pretty soft, and I’m CERTAIN they overtake Denver, possibly even by Week 11. Clevelandland is looking up in the division, and the schedule doesn’t favor them finishing with a winning record. Inserting Quinn Brady at QB right now is definitely high risk/high reward right now. The same challenging schedule looms for Houston, although these two teams could definitely play spoiler late in the season, though.
SEE YA NEXT YEAR- HERE'S YOUR CONSOLATION- THHHPPPPPPHHHHH!!!!!
JACKSONVILLE (3-5), CINCINATTI (1-8), crOAKLAND (2-6), KANSAS CITY (1-7)
Besides the Cowbabies, there is no team that’s a bigger disappointment than the Jag-you-whyers. Losing to the WINLESS Bungles have cemented their hopeless position in this woeful quartet. If you are an NFL team playing for the postseason YOU DO NOT LOSE TO AN 0-8 TEAM!!! Finding out in the middle of the season that you are to abandon all posteason hopes is more crushing than seeing it evaporate by the end of the first quarter, in my opinion. That’s why I’m thinking that Del Rio loses this team in the second half. Tommy the Cable Guy has already lost his Schraiders, but winning ONE game has probably given the Bungles a little spark, and the Chefs are actually putting forth a little effort, almost upsetting the Bucs last weekend (I’m pissed they couldn’t close the deal!) There is no spoiler in this bunch, and the scouting departments are paying more attention to the draft now than anything else.
NFC DIVISION LEADERS
NEW YORK (7-1) CAROLINA (6-2) CHICAGO (5-3) ARID-ZONA (5-3)
While the schedule gets tougher for both the G’ints and Cats, it’s not improbable that both these teams lock up the home field first-round byes. Both feature stout defenses, gutsy gun-slingin’ quarterbacks, Frisbee-catchin’-dawg wide receivers and improving running games. Both are holding off challenges from divisional foes, although Tampa came close to stumbling last week. The second half of the season will find the G’ints playing a bulk of their division games, while the Panthers only have three left. The Panthers also have three games against sub-500 teams, which they should win handily. Arid-Zona is in GREAT shape, putting distance between themselves and the DREADFUL teams in their division. They do have two tough games against Philthydelphia and the Geee-men, but a 10-6 finish is more than realistic. DaBears, however, have probably lost Kyle Orton-‘eers a ‘OO for a month, and if they have to rely on Wrecks-Grossman for that period, it’s possible their postseason hopes have been seriously crippled. Only two divisions in the NFC have likely wildcard participants, and it AIN’T the North or Worst.
NFC AT OR ABOVE 500
WARSHINGTOON (6-2) PHILTHYDELPHIA (5-3), DALLAS (5-4) TAMPA BAY (6-3)
NEW ORLEANS (4-4) ATLANTA (5-3) GREEN BAY, MINI-SODA (both 4-4)
As I said in the previous paragraph above, only NFC East or South teams have realistic chances at a wild card spot, although ALL eight teams have a shot at the division in the second half playoff sweepstakes. Obviously, the DreadSkins and Bucs have the best chance at catching their respective front runners, but the Fleagles and Duckies are very much alive in that race. The Bucs had better get much improved play from their anemic offense, or they will lose critical ground. The Saints are still alive, but are most likely playing spoiler, if not for the wild card. They are simply too hamstrung defensively, and the suspension of several key players looms quite large. The Packers and Vikings, while one game behind Chicago, have got to be liking their chances SO much more upon learning Orton will be gone for at least a month. By that time one of these teams will be leading the division, and the other two reduced to spoiler. I like the Packer’s passing game better, but the Vikings can really run the ball. The NFC North title will be a fun one to follow this season, and may not be final until the last regular season week! The CowGirls are a loss away from complete and utter implosion. Not even the return of Romo The Homo can resuscitate their fast-fading playoff hopes.
NFC ABANDON ALL HOPE
DETROIT (0-8) SEATTLE, SAN FRANCISCO, SAINT LOUIS (all 2-6)
Not a one of these teams could even hope to play spoiler now. Other than the three teams from the Worst division beating up on each other similar to the goobers in the AllTel commercials stumbling around the Chad character (playing the cool and powerful ARIZONA CARDINALS), they are now vehicles for the rest of the league wishing to punch a “W” in that respective column. Like their AFC loser brethren, the scouting departments are looking to the draft. I would like to see Samurai Mike make the PhoneyNiners respectable, but looks like he’s already put himself at a disadvantage by dropping trou in the locker room two weeks ago. Detroit and Saint Looey are fighting, but it’s like the knight in “Monty Python” who continues his futile battle as King Arthur slices and dices him -“what are you going to do, bleed on me!!??”. Indeed.
So, with the league covered for the midseason, dare I sharpen the focus on my clairvoyance gland and foresee the future?
Oh, I wouldn’t be the Cedar Street Seer if I didn’t!
In the AFC’s WildCard Weekend, sixth seeded Ball-Tea-Moore thumps The B*R*E*T*S BRETS BRETS BRETS, and fifth seeded Beefalo gets shocked by the resurgent Chargers. The Chargers succumb to The Squealers, the Raven’s conference championship hopes are “nevermore” when Tennessee stomps them. The ever-boring Titans, playing much like the 2000 Ravens, punch their second Super Bowl ticket, and silence the Squealers.
For the NFC’s WildCard Weekend, the Vikings whoop the sixth seeded Buccaneers, and the fifth seeded Fleagles get plucked by Arid-Zona in the desert. The Viking’s ship is sunk by the Panthers, and Arizona UPSETS the GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMEN!!!! A rematch with Carolina goes much like the first meeting, and the Panthers meet the Titans in Super Bowl XLIII in Tampa.
The Panthers win. By a field goal, as the game is played brutally by two dominant defenses. But this team will REFUSE TO LOSE to a Kerry Collins led team. And the NFL media still refuses to give us any love as we will only be featured in two measly primetime games the following season.
There’s your midseason report from the only clairvoyant you may ever know, or ever need to know… ;-)
I’ll have to come back Thursday with my picks as the games start early from here on out…
Gotta Comment?
E-mail me, The Cedar Street SeerCaptnTee@aol.com
04 November, 2008
31 October, 2008
THE WEEKLY HANDICAP AND OTHER CLARIVOYANCES - WEEK 9
October 31st, 2008
ECCCCHHH! 50% sucks even in handicapping. I can’t believe I went 7-7 last week, and if you’re reading this, I’m surprised you’re back and giving me another chance, which I do appreciate. With this week Pantherless, I’ll certainly give the picks extra clear thought. I will say this though. Even without our Cats playing this week, the week’s contests are important, vitally so to our playoff chase. Isn’t the league far more fun and interesting when WE’RE relavant? With that, I’ll dig right in.
HOUSTON @ MINI-SODA
The Texans have managed to get back into playoff contention. The Vikings are in trouble. Even a win for the purple clad-underachievers doesn’t guarantee anything. Couldn’t hurt though. Houston’s run D is suspect, although they are really moving the ball with Matt Schaub back at QB. Still, I like the notion of Adrian Peterson running wild Sunday. The line is at 4 ½, and I think the Vikings should want this more. I lean to the Vikings, although it wouldn’t surprise me to see Houston win.
JACKSONVILLE @ CINCINATTAH
The Jaggy-whyers really hurt me in my picks last week. With so much at stake in a very winnable home game, a loss really hurt them. A loss to the winless Bungles ends any realistic hopes at the postseason. I get the feeling the Bungles are playing out the string now, and I think Jacksonville plays like they mean it. The talent level, and HEART quotient is so much higher for them. They will win by the 7 ½ points they are favoured by.
TAMPA BAY @ KANSAS CITY
The Chef’s game against the BRETS last week surprised me, AND hurt me, too! I never thought they could stay in the game against an offense that was supposedly superior, especially without LJ! Ok, I’m getting the same feeling here, but the Bucs aren’t the Titans, who blew them out at home, gashing them for over 300 yards on the ground. And I didn’t think the Bucs would get their ass handed to them at Dallas- I’m gettin’ weird with the 8 ½ point spread. I know we’d ALL LOVE to see the Bucs get filleted by the Chefs, but I don’t think our karma’s THAT good. Reluctantly, I’ll take the Bucs and the points.
BALTIMORE @ CLEVELANDLAND
If the Ravens, with a top-level defense and an improving offense, want to make the playoffs, this is the kind of game they MUST win. I’m not really sure how the Brownies managed to thump the G’ints AND the Jagz at their house. I’m not sure about how much juice the Art Modell thing plays into this rivalry. Perhaps they’ve got something for the Ravens- naahhh. Wrong team favoured- Gimme the Ravens and the 1 ½ points.
NY B R E T S @ BEEFALO
Ok, this is a team I can’t figger out. They look bad in losing to crOakland, and bad in winning with the Chefs in their house. Buffalo is leading the division, with the Pastry-Rots breathing down their neck. The Bills are hard to beat at home, and they’ll be motivated. I say the struggles of Favre continue. Gimme the Bills and the 5 ½ points.
ARID-ZONA @ ST. LOUIS
The Rams stay unshorn for one more week, with a competitive performance in a losing effort against the Patsies last Sunday. Haslett seems to have been the difference in getting these guys believing in themselves again. But these Cardinals are so much better than I gave them credit for. After their game last week, I’m convinced. I think Kurt Warner will be pumped in playing his old team, and I like the Cardy-Noles to win by at least those 3 points. Win three more, Jimmy Haslett, and get your contract. You just ain’t winnin’ THIS week.
DETROIT AT CHICAGO
Alright, you Lie-uns let me down last week. No more love for you. DaBears are rested, ready, leading the division, and ready to kick the ass of their rival, no doubts about it.
The defense was thoroughly em”bear”essed by the Vikes in their last game, and they should be better on Sunday. The line is 13, and surprisingly not too heavy. Gimme DaBears.
GREEN BAY @ TENNESSEE
I’ve heard some talking heads calling this a “trap” game for the Titans. Nonsense. Had the Colts game been AFTER this one, then you could call it a trap game. The big, monsterous, HUMONGOUS game was last week, which I CORRECTLY called, BTW. The Packers will not pass or run on this ball-hawking defense. Gimme the home Titans and the 5 ½.
MIAMI @ DENVER
Ok, Miami is so much better than I had thought they would be this year. And Denver’s D is awful this year. Miami loves to run, run, run, and if Denver can’t stop it, Miami could control this game. Denver got thouroughly beaten up by NewEnglandland last week, and hurt Jay Cutler in the process. I don’t think he’ll be 100% in this game, and I’ll take the underdawg Dull-Fins and the 3 points.
ATLANTA @ crOAKLAND
I thought the Duckies were punchless on the road this year until they smoked the Tundra outta the Packers. The Schraiders are bad, but they DID beat the BRETS at home. I gotta feelin’ about this one. The Duckies might win, but not by much. I actually like the Schraiders to cover that slim line of 3 points.
DALLAS @ NOO YAWK FOOTBALL GIANTS
If there ever was a game that screamed “blowout”, this is it. The GeeeeeeeMen are in pretty good shape after their tilt with the Squealers last week, and the Cowbabies are still hurting. It’s really not a question in this game if Brad Johnson will succumb to the mighty Giant pass rush, but WHEN. The G’ints really WANT this game, and expect that battering ram of Brandon Jacobs to pound the Cowpuppies into mush. The line is 9, and I think the GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMen blow ‘em out worse than that.
PHILTYDELPHIA @ SEATTLE
Is there a chance that the Phillies’ championship carries over to the Fleagles? Not even mentioning that Brian Westbrook is back, and Matt Hasselbeck, well it IS his back? I think so. Big win for the Boids and that 6 ½ point spread.
NEW ENGLANDLAND @ INDIANAPOLIS
This could be the very last gasp of the once-proud Colts. While they stood tall for almost three quarters against the mighty Titans, I think they could fare a little better against the Pastry-Rots. They haven’t been great at their new home this year, however. They DO get all-pro safety Sanders back, as well as Joseph Addiai. Don’t think THEY won’t make a difference in the struggling Colts. I just don’t like the line. Pretty heavy at 5 ½ points, in my opinion, therefore, as much as I detest doing it, I will take the Patsies to cover in this one.
PISSBURGH @ WARSHINGTOON
On the night before Election day, we are treated to a slugfest in the nation's capital. The Foreskins to me are a HUGE surprise based on what we saw in the preseason, and their opening game. The Squealers are a HUGE surprise based on the fact that Roethlesberger is still alive. His line does a crappy job of protecting him, but the defense is the saving grace of this team. I don't suspect that the FredSkins will do much against the D, but I think Big Ben could be pressured and sacked multiple times. The team that controls the ball better offensively has the best chance to win. I think these teams are evenly matched, and I'm just LEANIN' to Pissburgh and the +2 points.
That’s the clairvoyance for the week, Fanz! I’m cautiously confident I’ll do better than-
Last Week- 7-7
Season 45-37
Gotta Comment?
E-mail me, The Cedar Street Seer
CaptnTee@aol.com
ECCCCHHH! 50% sucks even in handicapping. I can’t believe I went 7-7 last week, and if you’re reading this, I’m surprised you’re back and giving me another chance, which I do appreciate. With this week Pantherless, I’ll certainly give the picks extra clear thought. I will say this though. Even without our Cats playing this week, the week’s contests are important, vitally so to our playoff chase. Isn’t the league far more fun and interesting when WE’RE relavant? With that, I’ll dig right in.
HOUSTON @ MINI-SODA
The Texans have managed to get back into playoff contention. The Vikings are in trouble. Even a win for the purple clad-underachievers doesn’t guarantee anything. Couldn’t hurt though. Houston’s run D is suspect, although they are really moving the ball with Matt Schaub back at QB. Still, I like the notion of Adrian Peterson running wild Sunday. The line is at 4 ½, and I think the Vikings should want this more. I lean to the Vikings, although it wouldn’t surprise me to see Houston win.
JACKSONVILLE @ CINCINATTAH
The Jaggy-whyers really hurt me in my picks last week. With so much at stake in a very winnable home game, a loss really hurt them. A loss to the winless Bungles ends any realistic hopes at the postseason. I get the feeling the Bungles are playing out the string now, and I think Jacksonville plays like they mean it. The talent level, and HEART quotient is so much higher for them. They will win by the 7 ½ points they are favoured by.
TAMPA BAY @ KANSAS CITY
The Chef’s game against the BRETS last week surprised me, AND hurt me, too! I never thought they could stay in the game against an offense that was supposedly superior, especially without LJ! Ok, I’m getting the same feeling here, but the Bucs aren’t the Titans, who blew them out at home, gashing them for over 300 yards on the ground. And I didn’t think the Bucs would get their ass handed to them at Dallas- I’m gettin’ weird with the 8 ½ point spread. I know we’d ALL LOVE to see the Bucs get filleted by the Chefs, but I don’t think our karma’s THAT good. Reluctantly, I’ll take the Bucs and the points.
BALTIMORE @ CLEVELANDLAND
If the Ravens, with a top-level defense and an improving offense, want to make the playoffs, this is the kind of game they MUST win. I’m not really sure how the Brownies managed to thump the G’ints AND the Jagz at their house. I’m not sure about how much juice the Art Modell thing plays into this rivalry. Perhaps they’ve got something for the Ravens- naahhh. Wrong team favoured- Gimme the Ravens and the 1 ½ points.
NY B R E T S @ BEEFALO
Ok, this is a team I can’t figger out. They look bad in losing to crOakland, and bad in winning with the Chefs in their house. Buffalo is leading the division, with the Pastry-Rots breathing down their neck. The Bills are hard to beat at home, and they’ll be motivated. I say the struggles of Favre continue. Gimme the Bills and the 5 ½ points.
ARID-ZONA @ ST. LOUIS
The Rams stay unshorn for one more week, with a competitive performance in a losing effort against the Patsies last Sunday. Haslett seems to have been the difference in getting these guys believing in themselves again. But these Cardinals are so much better than I gave them credit for. After their game last week, I’m convinced. I think Kurt Warner will be pumped in playing his old team, and I like the Cardy-Noles to win by at least those 3 points. Win three more, Jimmy Haslett, and get your contract. You just ain’t winnin’ THIS week.
DETROIT AT CHICAGO
Alright, you Lie-uns let me down last week. No more love for you. DaBears are rested, ready, leading the division, and ready to kick the ass of their rival, no doubts about it.
The defense was thoroughly em”bear”essed by the Vikes in their last game, and they should be better on Sunday. The line is 13, and surprisingly not too heavy. Gimme DaBears.
GREEN BAY @ TENNESSEE
I’ve heard some talking heads calling this a “trap” game for the Titans. Nonsense. Had the Colts game been AFTER this one, then you could call it a trap game. The big, monsterous, HUMONGOUS game was last week, which I CORRECTLY called, BTW. The Packers will not pass or run on this ball-hawking defense. Gimme the home Titans and the 5 ½.
MIAMI @ DENVER
Ok, Miami is so much better than I had thought they would be this year. And Denver’s D is awful this year. Miami loves to run, run, run, and if Denver can’t stop it, Miami could control this game. Denver got thouroughly beaten up by NewEnglandland last week, and hurt Jay Cutler in the process. I don’t think he’ll be 100% in this game, and I’ll take the underdawg Dull-Fins and the 3 points.
ATLANTA @ crOAKLAND
I thought the Duckies were punchless on the road this year until they smoked the Tundra outta the Packers. The Schraiders are bad, but they DID beat the BRETS at home. I gotta feelin’ about this one. The Duckies might win, but not by much. I actually like the Schraiders to cover that slim line of 3 points.
DALLAS @ NOO YAWK FOOTBALL GIANTS
If there ever was a game that screamed “blowout”, this is it. The GeeeeeeeMen are in pretty good shape after their tilt with the Squealers last week, and the Cowbabies are still hurting. It’s really not a question in this game if Brad Johnson will succumb to the mighty Giant pass rush, but WHEN. The G’ints really WANT this game, and expect that battering ram of Brandon Jacobs to pound the Cowpuppies into mush. The line is 9, and I think the GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMen blow ‘em out worse than that.
PHILTYDELPHIA @ SEATTLE
Is there a chance that the Phillies’ championship carries over to the Fleagles? Not even mentioning that Brian Westbrook is back, and Matt Hasselbeck, well it IS his back? I think so. Big win for the Boids and that 6 ½ point spread.
NEW ENGLANDLAND @ INDIANAPOLIS
This could be the very last gasp of the once-proud Colts. While they stood tall for almost three quarters against the mighty Titans, I think they could fare a little better against the Pastry-Rots. They haven’t been great at their new home this year, however. They DO get all-pro safety Sanders back, as well as Joseph Addiai. Don’t think THEY won’t make a difference in the struggling Colts. I just don’t like the line. Pretty heavy at 5 ½ points, in my opinion, therefore, as much as I detest doing it, I will take the Patsies to cover in this one.
PISSBURGH @ WARSHINGTOON
On the night before Election day, we are treated to a slugfest in the nation's capital. The Foreskins to me are a HUGE surprise based on what we saw in the preseason, and their opening game. The Squealers are a HUGE surprise based on the fact that Roethlesberger is still alive. His line does a crappy job of protecting him, but the defense is the saving grace of this team. I don't suspect that the FredSkins will do much against the D, but I think Big Ben could be pressured and sacked multiple times. The team that controls the ball better offensively has the best chance to win. I think these teams are evenly matched, and I'm just LEANIN' to Pissburgh and the +2 points.
That’s the clairvoyance for the week, Fanz! I’m cautiously confident I’ll do better than-
Last Week- 7-7
Season 45-37
Gotta Comment?
E-mail me, The Cedar Street Seer
CaptnTee@aol.com
30 October, 2008
RANDOM KARMA THAT MAY INTEREST ONLY ME...
October 30th, 2008
As a fan of BOTH the North CAROLINA Tarheels, and the CAROLINA Panthers, it's occoured to me this week that going into the bye week-
Both teams are 6-2.
Both teams have a bye this weekend.
Both teams are well positioned for postseason play.
Both teams lead their respective leagues in pass defense, the highlight being a hard-hitting secondary.
Both teams feature blue in their colour.
Ok, maybe that's a stretch, like both teams are teamed by male mammals. But the prior four statements have got me thinking-
Perhaps wave after wave of positive karma is falling upon our beloved home state.
See y'all tomorrow with the picks-
Gotta Comment?
E-mail me,
The Cedar Street Seer
CaptnTee@aol.com
As a fan of BOTH the North CAROLINA Tarheels, and the CAROLINA Panthers, it's occoured to me this week that going into the bye week-
Both teams are 6-2.
Both teams have a bye this weekend.
Both teams are well positioned for postseason play.
Both teams lead their respective leagues in pass defense, the highlight being a hard-hitting secondary.
Both teams feature blue in their colour.
Ok, maybe that's a stretch, like both teams are teamed by male mammals. But the prior four statements have got me thinking-
Perhaps wave after wave of positive karma is falling upon our beloved home state.
See y'all tomorrow with the picks-
Gotta Comment?
E-mail me,
The Cedar Street Seer
CaptnTee@aol.com
27 October, 2008
ENERGY CRISIS
October 27th, 2008
When I woke up Sunday morning, I was flush with anticipation. I just KNEW this was going to be a happy, awesome day after the joy of the previous day’s sight of my beloved Tar Heels ripping Boston College, and even the joy of seeing the Big Ten’s evil empire of SLO-hio State crushed by Penn State. The air was crisp, but not uncomfortably so. The lot was starting to buzz, and sure enough, Commissioner Cahn showed up to give the PantherFanz party his blessing. A surprise visit by future standout WR Jason Carter and Decori “Cori” Birmingham was mighty cool, too. I hope them two fellas left our lot feelin’ good about the fan base. What surprised me, somewhat, was the lack of noise and energy in the lot by the time noon came around, with the greatest commotion being caused by our Miss October PantherFanz Laura when she did the 50/50 drawing. Even yours truly pleading over the megaphone couldn’t muster up the roar I felt necessary to pluck the Cardy-noles. And this wasn’t my imagination, y’all. As Brain and I and our PantherFanz convoy of Julie and Bud and Ron followed us into the South Gate, the lack of energy and noise was palpable. I could no longer take it. I started raising hell going into the security check points, with the workers joining me in my loud support for the team.
As the defensive players were announced, I became cognizant of the differing levels of cheer for various players. Charles Godfrey barely registered a faint roar, while the ovation for Julius Peppers probably registered on the Richter scale. I’d feel slighted, if I was Charles, and some of the other players on this terrific squad who deserve equal volume. And as the game unfolded, I still felt a serious lack of energy in the stands! And sure enough, it spilled onto the offensive plays of the Panthers in that first half – We could not move the ball on the ground, or the pass, while the defense had its hands full with the Cardy-noles potent offense. Despite increased blitzing and pressure, Kurt Warner was able to get enough passes off to keep drives going. Never mind I counted THREE, at least, incidences of HOLDING on Peppers that were never called! ( I guess all of the momentum tackles out of bounds that weren’t called balanced that out ) And to make the situation even stranger, was the malfunction of the scoreboards and time keeping equipment! All sorts of bizarre karma began to flood in. Was this going to be the start of a trend in our season? One great game, followed by a turd of a game, followed by another great game, followed by a turd, you get the ideal? Were we cursed to be teased like all of the other unfortunate schmo fans of the other bottom feeder teams in the league? Finally, a John Kasay field goal near the end of the half cut the lead to 10-3 in favour of our visitors from the Copper State. I still felt the strange lack of synergy – it was going to be really important for SOMETHING to pull that metaphysical switch that’s so vital to our team’s success. After another impressive drive by the Cards made it a 17-3 game early in the third quarter, it happened.
That offensive play that Miami is making trendy this year, “The Wildcat”, was put to use by the team that started it two seasons ago at Atlanta, with the same fulcrum point, DeAngelo Williams. Consecutive plays gained some thirty odd yards, and then, the running game gave us our first points- DeAngelo took a more traditional handoff 18 yards into the endzone, and the October 27, 2008 Bank of America Energy Crisis began to turn around as the stadium, AND the malfunctioning scoreboard, ROARED back to life! Score NOW at 17-10, and we were back in the game, and then, it was the defense’s turn! Maake Kemoeautu stripped the ball from Edgerin James’ grasp as Thomas Davis made the recovery DEEP in Cardy-nole territory in the very next series! Next play, touchdown pass to Smitty, tie score, and the Energy Crisis was abated.
All kinds of feelings of relief and joy spread through the stadium as the Panthers began to control the game. And interestingly enough, the plays called were not so much the Foxball I remember. I think as the season goes on, it seems to me that Jeff Davidson is being given more latitude in the play calling, as it appears to be more and more creative. However, the challenge from the very inspired Cardy-noles was not finished – Warner drove his team down the field for a go-ahead touchdown – BUT!!! The odd karma of the first half seemed to totally swing to The Panthers as they BOTCHED THE EXTRA POINT ATTEMPT! On the next series, you all saw the awesome TD to Smith that put us ahead for good. The Energy Crisis became the Energy Surplus as the crowd, still in their seats, began to attain indigent life form status –
I’m fixing to digress into a really geeky allusion that only Marc could understand. Well, maybe Brain could. And most of you Microsoft dudes. In Star Trek, The Motion Picture, a collection of mechanical intelligence attains a kind of consciousness that Mr. Spock acknowledges as a child at birth, just learning its’ way. I wasn’t thinking of that as the crowd INEXPLICABLY DOES THE F**^_(*^$%#*&%@+ING WAVE while the DAMN OFFENSE IS ON THE FIELD!!! Is it possible that our collective fanbase is still in the infancy throes? One that obviously COULDN’T READ – even as the message board IMPLORED FOR QUIET!!??? I’ve never been so enraged at our fans- our offense was going down the field, gashing the Cardy-nole defense in huge yardage chunks, and I felt the distraction was going to affect the offensive performance. Sure enough, we had to settle for a Kasay field goal. WHAT THE HELL WERE THE CONSESSIONAIRES SERVING!!?? Extra DUMBASS with the nachos? Did Dominos’ include MORON in the pizza toppings???!! COME ON, PANTHERFANS!!! And note I didn’t say PantherFANZ- we’re far too advanced and savy to fall for that. So, at that moment, our chances for victory were being buffeted much like the mechanical intelligence buffeted the Starship Enterprise. In the movie, Dr. McCoy suggested that “The Child” was having a “Temper Tantrum”, and that we “spank it!”! I sure felt like spanking our childish crowd. So, our Energy Crisis became an Energy Surplus, and then morphed into the crowd as an ENERGY EXCESS.
Thankfully, the excess energy seemed to channel into the defense, which now began to assert itself on the line, and in the secondary. Warner began to throw his passes erratically, missing his receivers, and badly. The last scoring threat of the Cardy-noles ended up in the arms of Jon BEASTon, and that was the end of Arid-zona for this day. How joyous it was to see THIS offense, OUR offense, grind the clock out for the final five minutes with punishing running by DeAngelo, and crisp passing by Jake. Three HUGE first downs did it, and how about that?
We’re 6-2 at the midway point of the season. If we do that again in the second half of the season, that makes us 12-4, you can do the math, and you know the result of that kind of record. Now, having watched this game and other games that have been played this year so far, I have made this observation, and I’m certain many of y’all who really appreciate the game have made the same observation.
The Arizona Cardinals are good. Really good. They have a terrific offense, and it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a receiver like Larry Fitzgerald. Come on, you gotta admit you were impressed by the way he caught Warner’s missiles. As a matter of fact, Arizona has an outstanding corps of receivers. I promise you, they will be a factor in the postseason. They do have to learn how to win on the road, and they came close yesterday, but what overshadows that for me is another observation-
The Panthers are learning how to come from behind and win. On the road, and at home. We’ve done it three times this year, y’all! The opener in Sad Diego, at home against DaBears, and yesterday! The maturation of this team is a pleasure to experience, and I no longer have any doubt that this team will make us happy this year. The stink of last season is long gone, and great days are ahead of us as long as the injury bug is sufficiently kept at bay. Arizona and New Orleans are the best offenses we will face this season – and we handled them. Who’s left? The Duckies maybe? Beaten them already. Packers? Don’t think so. Broncoids? Fading. Bucs and Saints? Done ‘em. The G-men may be a challenge, but all of a sudden, with the season half over, nothing seems impossible for the Carolina Panthers. This has been the best start since the ’03 season, I’m sure y’all agree. Instead of a rollercoaster ride, this has been, well, to use the StarTrek metaphor –
A STARSHIP ride –
So, as the Starship Panther collects supplies and refuels for the conclusion of this mission in two weeks, we await for Admiral Jerry to turn to Captain Fox and summon the order-
“ENGAGE”!!!
This is gonna be special. I’m thrilled to be taking this ride with you, The PantherFanZ tribe…
Gotta Comment?
E-mail me, The Cedar Street Seer
CaptnTee@aol.com
When I woke up Sunday morning, I was flush with anticipation. I just KNEW this was going to be a happy, awesome day after the joy of the previous day’s sight of my beloved Tar Heels ripping Boston College, and even the joy of seeing the Big Ten’s evil empire of SLO-hio State crushed by Penn State. The air was crisp, but not uncomfortably so. The lot was starting to buzz, and sure enough, Commissioner Cahn showed up to give the PantherFanz party his blessing. A surprise visit by future standout WR Jason Carter and Decori “Cori” Birmingham was mighty cool, too. I hope them two fellas left our lot feelin’ good about the fan base. What surprised me, somewhat, was the lack of noise and energy in the lot by the time noon came around, with the greatest commotion being caused by our Miss October PantherFanz Laura when she did the 50/50 drawing. Even yours truly pleading over the megaphone couldn’t muster up the roar I felt necessary to pluck the Cardy-noles. And this wasn’t my imagination, y’all. As Brain and I and our PantherFanz convoy of Julie and Bud and Ron followed us into the South Gate, the lack of energy and noise was palpable. I could no longer take it. I started raising hell going into the security check points, with the workers joining me in my loud support for the team.
As the defensive players were announced, I became cognizant of the differing levels of cheer for various players. Charles Godfrey barely registered a faint roar, while the ovation for Julius Peppers probably registered on the Richter scale. I’d feel slighted, if I was Charles, and some of the other players on this terrific squad who deserve equal volume. And as the game unfolded, I still felt a serious lack of energy in the stands! And sure enough, it spilled onto the offensive plays of the Panthers in that first half – We could not move the ball on the ground, or the pass, while the defense had its hands full with the Cardy-noles potent offense. Despite increased blitzing and pressure, Kurt Warner was able to get enough passes off to keep drives going. Never mind I counted THREE, at least, incidences of HOLDING on Peppers that were never called! ( I guess all of the momentum tackles out of bounds that weren’t called balanced that out ) And to make the situation even stranger, was the malfunction of the scoreboards and time keeping equipment! All sorts of bizarre karma began to flood in. Was this going to be the start of a trend in our season? One great game, followed by a turd of a game, followed by another great game, followed by a turd, you get the ideal? Were we cursed to be teased like all of the other unfortunate schmo fans of the other bottom feeder teams in the league? Finally, a John Kasay field goal near the end of the half cut the lead to 10-3 in favour of our visitors from the Copper State. I still felt the strange lack of synergy – it was going to be really important for SOMETHING to pull that metaphysical switch that’s so vital to our team’s success. After another impressive drive by the Cards made it a 17-3 game early in the third quarter, it happened.
That offensive play that Miami is making trendy this year, “The Wildcat”, was put to use by the team that started it two seasons ago at Atlanta, with the same fulcrum point, DeAngelo Williams. Consecutive plays gained some thirty odd yards, and then, the running game gave us our first points- DeAngelo took a more traditional handoff 18 yards into the endzone, and the October 27, 2008 Bank of America Energy Crisis began to turn around as the stadium, AND the malfunctioning scoreboard, ROARED back to life! Score NOW at 17-10, and we were back in the game, and then, it was the defense’s turn! Maake Kemoeautu stripped the ball from Edgerin James’ grasp as Thomas Davis made the recovery DEEP in Cardy-nole territory in the very next series! Next play, touchdown pass to Smitty, tie score, and the Energy Crisis was abated.
All kinds of feelings of relief and joy spread through the stadium as the Panthers began to control the game. And interestingly enough, the plays called were not so much the Foxball I remember. I think as the season goes on, it seems to me that Jeff Davidson is being given more latitude in the play calling, as it appears to be more and more creative. However, the challenge from the very inspired Cardy-noles was not finished – Warner drove his team down the field for a go-ahead touchdown – BUT!!! The odd karma of the first half seemed to totally swing to The Panthers as they BOTCHED THE EXTRA POINT ATTEMPT! On the next series, you all saw the awesome TD to Smith that put us ahead for good. The Energy Crisis became the Energy Surplus as the crowd, still in their seats, began to attain indigent life form status –
I’m fixing to digress into a really geeky allusion that only Marc could understand. Well, maybe Brain could. And most of you Microsoft dudes. In Star Trek, The Motion Picture, a collection of mechanical intelligence attains a kind of consciousness that Mr. Spock acknowledges as a child at birth, just learning its’ way. I wasn’t thinking of that as the crowd INEXPLICABLY DOES THE F**^_(*^$%#*&%@+ING WAVE while the DAMN OFFENSE IS ON THE FIELD!!! Is it possible that our collective fanbase is still in the infancy throes? One that obviously COULDN’T READ – even as the message board IMPLORED FOR QUIET!!??? I’ve never been so enraged at our fans- our offense was going down the field, gashing the Cardy-nole defense in huge yardage chunks, and I felt the distraction was going to affect the offensive performance. Sure enough, we had to settle for a Kasay field goal. WHAT THE HELL WERE THE CONSESSIONAIRES SERVING!!?? Extra DUMBASS with the nachos? Did Dominos’ include MORON in the pizza toppings???!! COME ON, PANTHERFANS!!! And note I didn’t say PantherFANZ- we’re far too advanced and savy to fall for that. So, at that moment, our chances for victory were being buffeted much like the mechanical intelligence buffeted the Starship Enterprise. In the movie, Dr. McCoy suggested that “The Child” was having a “Temper Tantrum”, and that we “spank it!”! I sure felt like spanking our childish crowd. So, our Energy Crisis became an Energy Surplus, and then morphed into the crowd as an ENERGY EXCESS.
Thankfully, the excess energy seemed to channel into the defense, which now began to assert itself on the line, and in the secondary. Warner began to throw his passes erratically, missing his receivers, and badly. The last scoring threat of the Cardy-noles ended up in the arms of Jon BEASTon, and that was the end of Arid-zona for this day. How joyous it was to see THIS offense, OUR offense, grind the clock out for the final five minutes with punishing running by DeAngelo, and crisp passing by Jake. Three HUGE first downs did it, and how about that?
We’re 6-2 at the midway point of the season. If we do that again in the second half of the season, that makes us 12-4, you can do the math, and you know the result of that kind of record. Now, having watched this game and other games that have been played this year so far, I have made this observation, and I’m certain many of y’all who really appreciate the game have made the same observation.
The Arizona Cardinals are good. Really good. They have a terrific offense, and it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a receiver like Larry Fitzgerald. Come on, you gotta admit you were impressed by the way he caught Warner’s missiles. As a matter of fact, Arizona has an outstanding corps of receivers. I promise you, they will be a factor in the postseason. They do have to learn how to win on the road, and they came close yesterday, but what overshadows that for me is another observation-
The Panthers are learning how to come from behind and win. On the road, and at home. We’ve done it three times this year, y’all! The opener in Sad Diego, at home against DaBears, and yesterday! The maturation of this team is a pleasure to experience, and I no longer have any doubt that this team will make us happy this year. The stink of last season is long gone, and great days are ahead of us as long as the injury bug is sufficiently kept at bay. Arizona and New Orleans are the best offenses we will face this season – and we handled them. Who’s left? The Duckies maybe? Beaten them already. Packers? Don’t think so. Broncoids? Fading. Bucs and Saints? Done ‘em. The G-men may be a challenge, but all of a sudden, with the season half over, nothing seems impossible for the Carolina Panthers. This has been the best start since the ’03 season, I’m sure y’all agree. Instead of a rollercoaster ride, this has been, well, to use the StarTrek metaphor –
A STARSHIP ride –
So, as the Starship Panther collects supplies and refuels for the conclusion of this mission in two weeks, we await for Admiral Jerry to turn to Captain Fox and summon the order-
“ENGAGE”!!!
This is gonna be special. I’m thrilled to be taking this ride with you, The PantherFanZ tribe…
Gotta Comment?
E-mail me, The Cedar Street Seer
CaptnTee@aol.com
24 October, 2008
THE WEEKLY HANDICAP AND OTHER CLARIVOYANCES- WEEK 8
October 24th, 2008
Welllll, THAT’s a little more like it! Going 8-5 sure beats the hell out of going 6-7! As we approach the mid-point of the season, there’s three kinds of clubs out there- the serious contenders, the hopeless, and the clubs fighting to survive. Here’s my breakdown of the week’s contests-
CROAKLAND @ BALL-TEA-MOORE
What a piece of crap the Schraiders forced the Brets to play last week! I doubt they will be able to do that against a stout Ravens defense that made my pick against them look foolish last week. I think the offense will do enough to move the chains, and score enough against the CableGuys to win. At 3-3, they’ve got a puncher’s chance to stay in the playoff race, and that should motivate them against an inferior team. The line’s a bit heavy at 7, but I’ll lean to Ball-tea-moore in this one. But I quothe no further love for them, nevermore, my friends.
SAD DIEGO vs. NEW ORLEANS in LONDON, ENGLANDLAND
Who’s the Einstein that thought international games were a good ideer? A novelty at best, to countries that go far wilder over, ECHHHH! – soccer! (no offense to you soccer dads out there) You’re dealing with far different time zones, climates, food, fans, etc, that puts both teams at a disadvantage. Now, add to this that both teams are truly beaten up after dismal defeats last weekend. The Charger’s defense is depleted, the Saints never had one, and THEY are without Reggie Bush, possibly their best playmaker. Looks like it could be a shootout. Both teams are in DESPARATE need of a win, but The Saints are moreso. And at times, I suspect they’ll play like it.
The Chargers are favored by 3 points, and I’m takin’ it. The loser’s postseason chances after this one are probably shot.
KANSAS CITY @ NOO YAWK BRETS
I feel really bad for this franchise. The once-proud Chefs are now as bad as any NFL team I’ve ever seen. Yes, they are in re-building mode, but I don’t see how Herm Edwards’ job survives this season. There is no energy, no will to win, no quality player at any skill position, and now, no Larry Johnson. As much as I hate to say it, this is a day for Brett Favre to cavre up this moribound team. A heavy, heavy, line at 13, but hey, this is a matchup MADE for that diva Favre to succeed. Take the Bretts, who live to fight for the postseason for another week.
BEEFALO @ MIAMI
Ok, I guess the league is starting to figger out Tony Sorpano’s screwy but simple “Wildcat” play that the Dull-phins wowed the league with early. The Beel’s stout D will handle the Fhish, yes, even in that hot South Florida sun. Trent Edwards is proving to be a genuine leader at quarterback for this team The line is 1 ½, and I like the Beels to continue to keep their lead on the Pastry-Rots.
TAMPA BAY @ DALLAS
Ohhh, you know all possible eyes in the NFL and even the casual fan will be looking at this game, anticipating the train wreck that is to come. This is a contest between a team that really isn’t, but is populated by WAYYYYYYYY superior talent, save one position, against a team that IS a team. This is a statement game, for both teams. The Bucs NEED this game to stay with the Panthers, and the Cowbabies MUST win this game JUST to stay relevant in the league. The division may already be out of reach for them. If they cannot realize any success in the ground attack with Marion Barberian, the game will be lost. The Bucs will probably have no problem scoring, and their former QB now playing for Dallas, Brad “Old Man” Johnson, will have a BIG problem penetrating the Bucs D. I kinda doubt offensive dude Jason Garrett will have an answer for the Bucs this weekend. I’ll take the Bucs, as much as it hurts, and it hurts, and the 2 ½ points they’re getting as an underdawg.
DUCKIES @ PHILTHYDELPHIA
The Fleagles have been given new life with the Cowbabies’ struggles, and a really needed bye. Getting Brian Westbrook back is HUGE, and I don’t think Matt Ryan is ready for the INTENSE blitzing Jimmy Johnson’s boys will be throwing at these Duckies. If Turner the Burner can’t get his yards, it will be a long day. That line is large, large, large, but if the Boids’ D plays like it has, I don’t see why they don’t beat the Duckies by the 9 points they’re favoured by. The Duckies come back to earth.
SAINT LOOEY @ NEW ENGLANDLAND
For one week, and one week only, the St. Looey LAMBS have now matured into RAMS.
Coach Haslett has done a fine job in getting this team competitive again. The Pasties looked really good carving up the hapless Broncoids last week, and I’m wondering if the Rams are catching the Pastry-Rots at a too-comfortable over-confident state. Loosing Rodney Harrison doesn’t help them, and if Steven Jackson can get the running game going, they may yet have ONE MORE competitive game in them. The Pastry-Rots are favoured by 7, and I like the Rams to cover. Should the Rams win, they will put unexpected pressure on the Cardy-Noles’ playoff express. A loss for the Pastry-Rots will pretty much end the division hopes but the wildcard is still possible.
ARID-ZONA @ CAROLINA
Annnnnnnnnnnd- SPEAKING of those Cardy-noles, who have the league’s #2 passing offense – please meet the NFL’s #2 passing DEFENSE. Last week they PUNISHED the leagues’ NUMBER ONE offense. I imagine they will do the same this week. Meanwhile, enough Foxball will be played to keep the game tight, and in favour of the ‘Cats. The Panthers have been AWESOME at home this year, and I believe the trend continues. While a loss hurts both of these teams, it will not greatly diminish postseason chances for either team. The Panthers need this more, and they will be motivated. Take the Panthers and the four points.
WARSHINGTOON @ DEE-TROY-IT
The Lie-uns have actually started to fight a little bit, keeping things close with the Vikings and Texans at THEIR houses- The FredSkins didn’t impress me much with their home victory over the Brownies. The Lie-uns are NOT without weapons on the skill positions, and they may make this a contest at the Stadium that Ford built. The DreadSkins will win, but I like the Lie-uns to cover that 7 ½ point spread.
CLEVELANDLAND @ JACKSONVILLE
After a much-needed bye, the Jag-you-whyers get a much-underwhelming opponent in the Brownies, who I’d suspect will have a tough time puncturing the Jag’s D. Meanwhile, the stout running game will control the clock, and the acutely accurate David Garrard will fire darts into the Brownie D. The Jags, while realistically out of contention for the division, can still fight for the wildcard. Should the Brownies lose, they are done. Consider them done. Jag-you-whyers and 7.
NOO YAWK GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMEN @ PISSBURGH
Considered by many to be the game of the week in the NFL, possibly a Super Bowl preview, this contest features two of the very best defenses in the league. Where they are NOT evenly matched, however, are the offensive lines. The Squealers’ line has surrendered 15 sacks this year, or something like that, and the G’ints? 6. The G’ints are going to hit BigBen early, and often. The Pissburgh D will wear down by the fourth quarter, giving Eli the chance he needs to get his team in scoring range. That will be the difference, and as much as it hurts the Panthers, I’m picking the GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEmen, not just to cover, but to WIN. Like the Panthers and Cards, a loss doesn’t devastate postseason chances for either team, even moreso, given that both teams are 5-1.
SEATTLE @ SAD FRANCISCO
I’m sure most of you remember those INTENSE glaring eyes of Samurai Mike Singletary as he led one of the most fearsome defenses in NFL history. It was an indelible impression, at least on me, that I’ll remember for the rest of my life. The Phoney-Niners after 1999? Can’t remember much. They’ve been pretty much irrelevant in the league for the past ten years. I’m not sure I like the new coaching combination of mad genius Mike Martz and the relative “whippersnapper” Singletary, whose intense glare will have ZERO impact on this outcome. Here’s a clue, Samurai- Hand off the ball early and often to Frank Gore, and “Gore” the hapless SeaDogs, who by the way, have NO HOPE for the postseason, and have made one of the most meteoric and precipitous tumbles from the NFL’s elite in recent memory. They were AWFUL last week in Tampa, and even coming back to the Worst Coast, they will play this game without Hasslebeck, which will doom them. I really hate, hate, hate, HATE LIKE HELL to give the Phoney-Niners any love, and anymore space in this paragraph about this stinker of a game, but I’ll take the home favorite and that fat, huge, corpulent line of 5 points.
CINCINATTAH @ HOUSTON
The Bungles. Uggghchh. Is it possible they could be worse that the Chefs? The Texans may just have the chance to prove it. A win this Sunday gives the Texans a chance at the wildcard. I don’t see how a resurgent Matt Schaub and his improving Texans don’t fling the biscuit all over those hapless Bungles. And he’d better- I’m starting him over Jake Delhomme this week! I will gladly take that minute, tiny sliver of a microscopic line that favours the home Texans by 9 ½ points.
INDIANAPOLIS @ TENNESSEE
Playing largely under the radar and well outside of the glare of the Cowpuppies’ impending and inevitable meltdown, at last, the Titans get the nation’s attention on Monday night. The once-mighty Colts have suffered some serious injuries, no longer run the ball; no longer STOP the run, a disastrous combination for a team looking to get back to the postseason. And Tennessee LEADS the NFL in rushing. Uh, oh, Colts fans. I doubt that punctured offensive line for Indy can hold off the relentless Titan rush all night – Peyton won’t be able to do enough for his team against these guys. While it’s said, and annoyingly so sometimes, “to never underestimate the heart of a champion”, this season looks like it will soon be a lost one for the Colts. Gimme the Titan juggernaut and that 4 point spread that’s so small, you need an electron microscope to find it.
There ya go, Fanz- This really feels like a good pickin’ week! It’s startin’ to feel good to be the Cedar Street Seer again!
Last week - 8-5
Season - 38-30
See y’all Sunday.
Gotta comment?
E-mail me, The Cedar Street Seer
CaptnTee@aol.com
Welllll, THAT’s a little more like it! Going 8-5 sure beats the hell out of going 6-7! As we approach the mid-point of the season, there’s three kinds of clubs out there- the serious contenders, the hopeless, and the clubs fighting to survive. Here’s my breakdown of the week’s contests-
CROAKLAND @ BALL-TEA-MOORE
What a piece of crap the Schraiders forced the Brets to play last week! I doubt they will be able to do that against a stout Ravens defense that made my pick against them look foolish last week. I think the offense will do enough to move the chains, and score enough against the CableGuys to win. At 3-3, they’ve got a puncher’s chance to stay in the playoff race, and that should motivate them against an inferior team. The line’s a bit heavy at 7, but I’ll lean to Ball-tea-moore in this one. But I quothe no further love for them, nevermore, my friends.
SAD DIEGO vs. NEW ORLEANS in LONDON, ENGLANDLAND
Who’s the Einstein that thought international games were a good ideer? A novelty at best, to countries that go far wilder over, ECHHHH! – soccer! (no offense to you soccer dads out there) You’re dealing with far different time zones, climates, food, fans, etc, that puts both teams at a disadvantage. Now, add to this that both teams are truly beaten up after dismal defeats last weekend. The Charger’s defense is depleted, the Saints never had one, and THEY are without Reggie Bush, possibly their best playmaker. Looks like it could be a shootout. Both teams are in DESPARATE need of a win, but The Saints are moreso. And at times, I suspect they’ll play like it.
The Chargers are favored by 3 points, and I’m takin’ it. The loser’s postseason chances after this one are probably shot.
KANSAS CITY @ NOO YAWK BRETS
I feel really bad for this franchise. The once-proud Chefs are now as bad as any NFL team I’ve ever seen. Yes, they are in re-building mode, but I don’t see how Herm Edwards’ job survives this season. There is no energy, no will to win, no quality player at any skill position, and now, no Larry Johnson. As much as I hate to say it, this is a day for Brett Favre to cavre up this moribound team. A heavy, heavy, line at 13, but hey, this is a matchup MADE for that diva Favre to succeed. Take the Bretts, who live to fight for the postseason for another week.
BEEFALO @ MIAMI
Ok, I guess the league is starting to figger out Tony Sorpano’s screwy but simple “Wildcat” play that the Dull-phins wowed the league with early. The Beel’s stout D will handle the Fhish, yes, even in that hot South Florida sun. Trent Edwards is proving to be a genuine leader at quarterback for this team The line is 1 ½, and I like the Beels to continue to keep their lead on the Pastry-Rots.
TAMPA BAY @ DALLAS
Ohhh, you know all possible eyes in the NFL and even the casual fan will be looking at this game, anticipating the train wreck that is to come. This is a contest between a team that really isn’t, but is populated by WAYYYYYYYY superior talent, save one position, against a team that IS a team. This is a statement game, for both teams. The Bucs NEED this game to stay with the Panthers, and the Cowbabies MUST win this game JUST to stay relevant in the league. The division may already be out of reach for them. If they cannot realize any success in the ground attack with Marion Barberian, the game will be lost. The Bucs will probably have no problem scoring, and their former QB now playing for Dallas, Brad “Old Man” Johnson, will have a BIG problem penetrating the Bucs D. I kinda doubt offensive dude Jason Garrett will have an answer for the Bucs this weekend. I’ll take the Bucs, as much as it hurts, and it hurts, and the 2 ½ points they’re getting as an underdawg.
DUCKIES @ PHILTHYDELPHIA
The Fleagles have been given new life with the Cowbabies’ struggles, and a really needed bye. Getting Brian Westbrook back is HUGE, and I don’t think Matt Ryan is ready for the INTENSE blitzing Jimmy Johnson’s boys will be throwing at these Duckies. If Turner the Burner can’t get his yards, it will be a long day. That line is large, large, large, but if the Boids’ D plays like it has, I don’t see why they don’t beat the Duckies by the 9 points they’re favoured by. The Duckies come back to earth.
SAINT LOOEY @ NEW ENGLANDLAND
For one week, and one week only, the St. Looey LAMBS have now matured into RAMS.
Coach Haslett has done a fine job in getting this team competitive again. The Pasties looked really good carving up the hapless Broncoids last week, and I’m wondering if the Rams are catching the Pastry-Rots at a too-comfortable over-confident state. Loosing Rodney Harrison doesn’t help them, and if Steven Jackson can get the running game going, they may yet have ONE MORE competitive game in them. The Pastry-Rots are favoured by 7, and I like the Rams to cover. Should the Rams win, they will put unexpected pressure on the Cardy-Noles’ playoff express. A loss for the Pastry-Rots will pretty much end the division hopes but the wildcard is still possible.
ARID-ZONA @ CAROLINA
Annnnnnnnnnnd- SPEAKING of those Cardy-noles, who have the league’s #2 passing offense – please meet the NFL’s #2 passing DEFENSE. Last week they PUNISHED the leagues’ NUMBER ONE offense. I imagine they will do the same this week. Meanwhile, enough Foxball will be played to keep the game tight, and in favour of the ‘Cats. The Panthers have been AWESOME at home this year, and I believe the trend continues. While a loss hurts both of these teams, it will not greatly diminish postseason chances for either team. The Panthers need this more, and they will be motivated. Take the Panthers and the four points.
WARSHINGTOON @ DEE-TROY-IT
The Lie-uns have actually started to fight a little bit, keeping things close with the Vikings and Texans at THEIR houses- The FredSkins didn’t impress me much with their home victory over the Brownies. The Lie-uns are NOT without weapons on the skill positions, and they may make this a contest at the Stadium that Ford built. The DreadSkins will win, but I like the Lie-uns to cover that 7 ½ point spread.
CLEVELANDLAND @ JACKSONVILLE
After a much-needed bye, the Jag-you-whyers get a much-underwhelming opponent in the Brownies, who I’d suspect will have a tough time puncturing the Jag’s D. Meanwhile, the stout running game will control the clock, and the acutely accurate David Garrard will fire darts into the Brownie D. The Jags, while realistically out of contention for the division, can still fight for the wildcard. Should the Brownies lose, they are done. Consider them done. Jag-you-whyers and 7.
NOO YAWK GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMEN @ PISSBURGH
Considered by many to be the game of the week in the NFL, possibly a Super Bowl preview, this contest features two of the very best defenses in the league. Where they are NOT evenly matched, however, are the offensive lines. The Squealers’ line has surrendered 15 sacks this year, or something like that, and the G’ints? 6. The G’ints are going to hit BigBen early, and often. The Pissburgh D will wear down by the fourth quarter, giving Eli the chance he needs to get his team in scoring range. That will be the difference, and as much as it hurts the Panthers, I’m picking the GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEmen, not just to cover, but to WIN. Like the Panthers and Cards, a loss doesn’t devastate postseason chances for either team, even moreso, given that both teams are 5-1.
SEATTLE @ SAD FRANCISCO
I’m sure most of you remember those INTENSE glaring eyes of Samurai Mike Singletary as he led one of the most fearsome defenses in NFL history. It was an indelible impression, at least on me, that I’ll remember for the rest of my life. The Phoney-Niners after 1999? Can’t remember much. They’ve been pretty much irrelevant in the league for the past ten years. I’m not sure I like the new coaching combination of mad genius Mike Martz and the relative “whippersnapper” Singletary, whose intense glare will have ZERO impact on this outcome. Here’s a clue, Samurai- Hand off the ball early and often to Frank Gore, and “Gore” the hapless SeaDogs, who by the way, have NO HOPE for the postseason, and have made one of the most meteoric and precipitous tumbles from the NFL’s elite in recent memory. They were AWFUL last week in Tampa, and even coming back to the Worst Coast, they will play this game without Hasslebeck, which will doom them. I really hate, hate, hate, HATE LIKE HELL to give the Phoney-Niners any love, and anymore space in this paragraph about this stinker of a game, but I’ll take the home favorite and that fat, huge, corpulent line of 5 points.
CINCINATTAH @ HOUSTON
The Bungles. Uggghchh. Is it possible they could be worse that the Chefs? The Texans may just have the chance to prove it. A win this Sunday gives the Texans a chance at the wildcard. I don’t see how a resurgent Matt Schaub and his improving Texans don’t fling the biscuit all over those hapless Bungles. And he’d better- I’m starting him over Jake Delhomme this week! I will gladly take that minute, tiny sliver of a microscopic line that favours the home Texans by 9 ½ points.
INDIANAPOLIS @ TENNESSEE
Playing largely under the radar and well outside of the glare of the Cowpuppies’ impending and inevitable meltdown, at last, the Titans get the nation’s attention on Monday night. The once-mighty Colts have suffered some serious injuries, no longer run the ball; no longer STOP the run, a disastrous combination for a team looking to get back to the postseason. And Tennessee LEADS the NFL in rushing. Uh, oh, Colts fans. I doubt that punctured offensive line for Indy can hold off the relentless Titan rush all night – Peyton won’t be able to do enough for his team against these guys. While it’s said, and annoyingly so sometimes, “to never underestimate the heart of a champion”, this season looks like it will soon be a lost one for the Colts. Gimme the Titan juggernaut and that 4 point spread that’s so small, you need an electron microscope to find it.
There ya go, Fanz- This really feels like a good pickin’ week! It’s startin’ to feel good to be the Cedar Street Seer again!
Last week - 8-5
Season - 38-30
See y’all Sunday.
Gotta comment?
E-mail me, The Cedar Street Seer
CaptnTee@aol.com
23 October, 2008
CAR-DINAL KNOWLEGE
October 23, 2008
This Sunday we will “entertain” a franchise from a city that’s only had pro football for twenty years. Although that’s a few more than we’ve enjoyed, I thought I’d dig around and find out a little more about these Arid-Zona Cardy-noles.
DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU KNOOOOOOW-
That the Cardinals are the OLDEST chartered team in the NFL? And they are older even still than the league itself! In 1898, they were formed in Chicago as the Morgan Athletic Club. When they moved to Racine in 1901, their uniforms were some used maroon togs from the University of Chicago, faded so much, that the players complained they were CARDINAL red-
Hence the name.
In 1920, the team, along with the Decatur Staleys and Green Bay Packers, became the first charter members of the American Professional Football League, which two years later became the NFL. Scratchin’ yer head about the Decatur Staleys? Heard the name before? You should have- They became the Chicago Bears! In their 40 years in the Windy City, the Cardy-noles only won 2 NFL championships, and one, won in 1925, was won by default! In 1932, the team was purchased by a Dr. Bidwell, and has been in this family ever since, also making them the NFL team owned the longest by a SINGLE ENTITY. After WWII, the game became more popular than ever, and expansion sent the team to St. Louis in 1960, the same year the Dallas Cowbabies joined the league, with the noble Tom Landry as their coach. The Cardy-noles had a largely unspectacular history in the Gateway City, making the playoffs (YES, Coach Mora, I’m talkin’ PLAYOFFS, ‘cause I’m talkin’ about history!) only three times, and never winning a game. They DID have their share of decent years with Neil Lomax and Roy Green, Jim Hart and Otis Anderson. Many of you remember Bidwell’s move to Phoenix in 1988, and the years of suckage they’ve had out in the desert. Actually, many fans of the franchise will remember DECADES of suckage due to the Bidwell’s notorious reluctance to open the checkbooks to pay players and coaches. Some of you may remember Arid-zona’s lone trip to the posteason in 1998, when Jake Plummer and his boys whooped on the Cowbabies for their ONLY PLAYOFF WIN in their 100 year history! So, we fast forward to now.
Today, the Cardy-Noles are a surprising 4-2, a commanding lead over the other three teams in the division. They’re winning games largely through a prolific and aggressive passing attack with the ancient Kurt Warner (‘memba HIM??) at the controls. The biscuit is generally flung at Larry Fitzgerald, and Anquan Boldin, when healthy. He’s not, at this posting. Here’s something else you may not know- Ken Whisenhunt, the head coach? 12-10 since he got there last year. After 100 years, who knows, maybe they’re putting something together really special there! One thing though- This team SUCKS on the East Coast, and after looking at this team objectively, I’m more confident in victory than I was immediately following our dismantling of the Saints last week. I’ll tell you this- The Cardy-Nole “D” is MUCH tougher than the Saints, and we will really have to nut it up to score on these guys. I suspect it will be much like the Bears game, when we put ‘em away in the 4th quarter. Where the Panthers have the distinct advantage is, however, is OUR VASTLY superior defense, #2 in the league against the pass, and you can imagine that the scoring result for the Cards will be much like the Saints last week. The score wouldn’t surprise me to be something like 21-10 or something like that. I’m anticipating MUCH more Foxball this weekend than last Sunday.
So Fanz, when you’re looking at the red and white adorned team from Arid-zona, take a moment to reflect on the history of this perennially bad but improving franchise, and put out of your mind the notion that they’re due a great road win on the East Coast. Because it’s not happenin’ this Sunday.
See y’all tomorrow with the picks.
Gotta Comment?
E-mail me, The Cedar Street Seer
CaptnTee@aol.com
This Sunday we will “entertain” a franchise from a city that’s only had pro football for twenty years. Although that’s a few more than we’ve enjoyed, I thought I’d dig around and find out a little more about these Arid-Zona Cardy-noles.
DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU KNOOOOOOW-
That the Cardinals are the OLDEST chartered team in the NFL? And they are older even still than the league itself! In 1898, they were formed in Chicago as the Morgan Athletic Club. When they moved to Racine in 1901, their uniforms were some used maroon togs from the University of Chicago, faded so much, that the players complained they were CARDINAL red-
Hence the name.
In 1920, the team, along with the Decatur Staleys and Green Bay Packers, became the first charter members of the American Professional Football League, which two years later became the NFL. Scratchin’ yer head about the Decatur Staleys? Heard the name before? You should have- They became the Chicago Bears! In their 40 years in the Windy City, the Cardy-noles only won 2 NFL championships, and one, won in 1925, was won by default! In 1932, the team was purchased by a Dr. Bidwell, and has been in this family ever since, also making them the NFL team owned the longest by a SINGLE ENTITY. After WWII, the game became more popular than ever, and expansion sent the team to St. Louis in 1960, the same year the Dallas Cowbabies joined the league, with the noble Tom Landry as their coach. The Cardy-noles had a largely unspectacular history in the Gateway City, making the playoffs (YES, Coach Mora, I’m talkin’ PLAYOFFS, ‘cause I’m talkin’ about history!) only three times, and never winning a game. They DID have their share of decent years with Neil Lomax and Roy Green, Jim Hart and Otis Anderson. Many of you remember Bidwell’s move to Phoenix in 1988, and the years of suckage they’ve had out in the desert. Actually, many fans of the franchise will remember DECADES of suckage due to the Bidwell’s notorious reluctance to open the checkbooks to pay players and coaches. Some of you may remember Arid-zona’s lone trip to the posteason in 1998, when Jake Plummer and his boys whooped on the Cowbabies for their ONLY PLAYOFF WIN in their 100 year history! So, we fast forward to now.
Today, the Cardy-Noles are a surprising 4-2, a commanding lead over the other three teams in the division. They’re winning games largely through a prolific and aggressive passing attack with the ancient Kurt Warner (‘memba HIM??) at the controls. The biscuit is generally flung at Larry Fitzgerald, and Anquan Boldin, when healthy. He’s not, at this posting. Here’s something else you may not know- Ken Whisenhunt, the head coach? 12-10 since he got there last year. After 100 years, who knows, maybe they’re putting something together really special there! One thing though- This team SUCKS on the East Coast, and after looking at this team objectively, I’m more confident in victory than I was immediately following our dismantling of the Saints last week. I’ll tell you this- The Cardy-Nole “D” is MUCH tougher than the Saints, and we will really have to nut it up to score on these guys. I suspect it will be much like the Bears game, when we put ‘em away in the 4th quarter. Where the Panthers have the distinct advantage is, however, is OUR VASTLY superior defense, #2 in the league against the pass, and you can imagine that the scoring result for the Cards will be much like the Saints last week. The score wouldn’t surprise me to be something like 21-10 or something like that. I’m anticipating MUCH more Foxball this weekend than last Sunday.
So Fanz, when you’re looking at the red and white adorned team from Arid-zona, take a moment to reflect on the history of this perennially bad but improving franchise, and put out of your mind the notion that they’re due a great road win on the East Coast. Because it’s not happenin’ this Sunday.
See y’all tomorrow with the picks.
Gotta Comment?
E-mail me, The Cedar Street Seer
CaptnTee@aol.com
20 October, 2008
DEFENSE THE DIFFERENCE
October 20, 2008
I kind of over-libated myself with Redbreast upon returning home and never got to the keyboard to start pounding out my post-game rant. But never fear, I’m back at it this afternoon. First of all, let me say that as fans, we’ve experienced one of the best gamedays since ’96. Seriously. From the weather to the food, to the game itself, it was absolutely fantastic. Second of all, let me say-
I TOLD YOU SO-
I had correctly predicted this outcome by examining the “reverse karma” of the past three weeks involving crappy AFC Worst teams, and the NFC South. I woke up Sunday Morning feeling completely confident, and Dano himself can recall our Saturday conversation to this regard. Sure, you can go over X’s and O’s all you want, and listen to the endless blather of the so-called-experts, who, by the way, cant WAIT to bury their once-beloved anointed Cowbabies, but there’s no getting in the way of that most powerful karma.
Ok, what did we see? I’m sober and reflecting on the contest. The all-powerful Saints offense DID move the ball- but not in the huge chunks that so characterizes their attack. I’m really trying NOT to give Turkey-Vac too much love, and I’m reserving judgment on him until the seasons’ complete, but this was a BEAUTIFUL defensive effort! Never mind the mercurial effectiveness of the offense, and I’ll get to that later, but WITHOUT a judicious amount of blitzing, they STILL held the NFL’s #2 offense to 7 measly points! John Kasay could have kicked two field goals, and the defense generates a safety, and that would have been enough to win! This is what I THINK I saw through the buzz- With mainly a four-man rush, the linebackers and the VERY UNDERRATED secondary played a contain and cover game, keeping the play in front of them at ALL TIMES. The coverage began to throw Brees off, and the resulting chaos on the front lines became the perfect environment for pass pressure-
Enter Julius Peppers.
For the past few weeks, a serious Romulan mind control tactic had affected his play, but I’ve learned that a bold countermeasure by some of StarFleet’s finest para-physcholgical warfare experts from the future managed to free Julius’ football mind to set straight the timeline that is meant to be, one of many Panthers victories for this season, so that there is no future paradoxes that rupture the space-time continuum. And while that may not necessarily be so, that sounded so delightfully geeky to say in a classic Marc Stanton way. But you get it. A maddeningly INCONSISTENT #90 unleashed DOES make a game-changing impact on the way we attack, and the way our opponent counters. The Saints simply had NO ANSWER for our defense, and now, the rest of the league will be examining the film from yesterday, hoping to duplicate that success. I counted at least three times when Julius was held, and not called by the Hoculis. And when he was double teamed, his linemates were sure to make a play. I can’t say enough about the fourth down stands made TWICE and defended successfully. This was an incredible defensive effort that we’ve not seen in years. And you can’t count the games against creampuffs like the Chefs and the Duckies. This was a SERIOUSLY good offense, shut down. Turkey-Vac? I’m proud for you TODAY. AND THAT’S IT! Game plan effectively for the Cardy-noles coming up this Sunday, and I’ll add that to my Turkey-Vac love bank.
Now, for the offense. There was really no HUGE offensive plays made, but it wasn’t necessary! The one thing I particularly notice was the tremendous amount of balance between run and pass, both very effective. I think we had ONE 3-and-out series. I must give serious props to the O-line for holding things together while Otah and Kalil heal. Jake was BARELY TOUCHED on Sunday! No turnovers tossed by our Cajun Cannon, but what was wonderful to see was how ACCURATE he was! On the TD pass to Smith in the third quarter, it first appeared to be a lucky ballsy pass in Jake’s usual “gunslinger” mode. Oh no, my friends, upon Wildman’s astute examination of the replay on those tremonsterous scoreboard screens, JAKE LAID THAT BALL RIGHT ON HIS CHEST! Stupendous play. While Stewilliams never had any of those magnificent breakaway runs, they managed to crank out some 140 yards of good, bruising offense. But the best part of our offense yesterday was something we haven’t seen in possibly THE ENTIRE JOHN FOX ERA. Killer instinct. Never, did I feel Foxball was being played as a strategic feature yesterday. The plays were called with daring, for example, the “flea flicker” from Stewart to Jake in the second quarter, and CONSISTENTLY taking a chance with the pass in the second half, keeping drives going, and keeping the Saints from getting the ball and thus getting a chance to get back in the game. Essentially, we laid the proverbial “foot on the neck”, and never let up. Never before have I seen a John Fox team play this way at home, and it was as wonderful to see as the first time you saw your wife naked. (well, at least MINE!) Really. The sound of the crowd as we exited the stadium was as such that I’ve not heard since beating Dallas in the, ehh, that thing that starts with “P”. It was as majestic as any anthem Beethoven ever wrote. At this point I’d have to say that the few Saints fans that were there were well behaved and not obnoxious pieces of s**t that Cowbaby, Eagle and Squealer fans are, and in no way made an impact on the mood of the game. Saints and Bucs fans, you’re welcome in the lot anytime with us.
Ok, we had a magnificent experience yesterday. So how does this game stack up in the great ledger of Panther wins?
Depends.
Foxy and staff MUST follow up this masterpiece with one similar to it this Sunday against the Cardy-noles. Without a repeat performance against a team that has a similar offensive philosophy, and a slightly BETTER defense, this past game will only be a footnote, instead of another brick in a foundation of success this season. As it is with Fox fashion, he must not let these guys get too high again, as they were just before Tampa. I’d outlaw reading all of the gushy love over the ‘net and papers until the seasons’ over. Don’t think Arid-zona couldn’t beat us, ‘cause they could. Unless the team goes into this game with the same laser focus they had for the Saints. And it’s absolutely VITAL. After this game is the bye. Then, the second half of our season begins, albeit with a pair of patsies in the Schraiders and Lie-uns. We had BETTER be 8-2 at that point, because the next six games are against teams that right now all have winning records, with a real chance at the postseason. (Relax, Coach Mora, I didn’t say IT---) Ok, the Saints are 3-4. For now. Lets see, here they are, and in this order- AT the Duckies, AT the Packers, HOME against the Bucs, HOME against the Broncoids, then AT the G’ints, and finished at The Superdome against a team that would LOVE to get back at us. That crucible stretch of six games will define this season, and how great it would be to have the same kind of play we had yesterday. Foxy- Turkey-Vac- you fellas have your mandate.
Make it happen. For us, the loyal fan, if not for your jobs.
I’ll be back with a quasi-scouting report on our opponent in a couple of days.
In the meantime, relish this wonderful win until Thursday, Friday at the very latest, because the hard road comes in full force in less than five weeks.
Then, it’s six weeks of NFL battling at it’s best. And I’m confident we’ll come out on top.
Gotta Comment?
E-mail me, The Cedar Street SeerCaptnTee@aol.com
I kind of over-libated myself with Redbreast upon returning home and never got to the keyboard to start pounding out my post-game rant. But never fear, I’m back at it this afternoon. First of all, let me say that as fans, we’ve experienced one of the best gamedays since ’96. Seriously. From the weather to the food, to the game itself, it was absolutely fantastic. Second of all, let me say-
I TOLD YOU SO-
I had correctly predicted this outcome by examining the “reverse karma” of the past three weeks involving crappy AFC Worst teams, and the NFC South. I woke up Sunday Morning feeling completely confident, and Dano himself can recall our Saturday conversation to this regard. Sure, you can go over X’s and O’s all you want, and listen to the endless blather of the so-called-experts, who, by the way, cant WAIT to bury their once-beloved anointed Cowbabies, but there’s no getting in the way of that most powerful karma.
Ok, what did we see? I’m sober and reflecting on the contest. The all-powerful Saints offense DID move the ball- but not in the huge chunks that so characterizes their attack. I’m really trying NOT to give Turkey-Vac too much love, and I’m reserving judgment on him until the seasons’ complete, but this was a BEAUTIFUL defensive effort! Never mind the mercurial effectiveness of the offense, and I’ll get to that later, but WITHOUT a judicious amount of blitzing, they STILL held the NFL’s #2 offense to 7 measly points! John Kasay could have kicked two field goals, and the defense generates a safety, and that would have been enough to win! This is what I THINK I saw through the buzz- With mainly a four-man rush, the linebackers and the VERY UNDERRATED secondary played a contain and cover game, keeping the play in front of them at ALL TIMES. The coverage began to throw Brees off, and the resulting chaos on the front lines became the perfect environment for pass pressure-
Enter Julius Peppers.
For the past few weeks, a serious Romulan mind control tactic had affected his play, but I’ve learned that a bold countermeasure by some of StarFleet’s finest para-physcholgical warfare experts from the future managed to free Julius’ football mind to set straight the timeline that is meant to be, one of many Panthers victories for this season, so that there is no future paradoxes that rupture the space-time continuum. And while that may not necessarily be so, that sounded so delightfully geeky to say in a classic Marc Stanton way. But you get it. A maddeningly INCONSISTENT #90 unleashed DOES make a game-changing impact on the way we attack, and the way our opponent counters. The Saints simply had NO ANSWER for our defense, and now, the rest of the league will be examining the film from yesterday, hoping to duplicate that success. I counted at least three times when Julius was held, and not called by the Hoculis. And when he was double teamed, his linemates were sure to make a play. I can’t say enough about the fourth down stands made TWICE and defended successfully. This was an incredible defensive effort that we’ve not seen in years. And you can’t count the games against creampuffs like the Chefs and the Duckies. This was a SERIOUSLY good offense, shut down. Turkey-Vac? I’m proud for you TODAY. AND THAT’S IT! Game plan effectively for the Cardy-noles coming up this Sunday, and I’ll add that to my Turkey-Vac love bank.
Now, for the offense. There was really no HUGE offensive plays made, but it wasn’t necessary! The one thing I particularly notice was the tremendous amount of balance between run and pass, both very effective. I think we had ONE 3-and-out series. I must give serious props to the O-line for holding things together while Otah and Kalil heal. Jake was BARELY TOUCHED on Sunday! No turnovers tossed by our Cajun Cannon, but what was wonderful to see was how ACCURATE he was! On the TD pass to Smith in the third quarter, it first appeared to be a lucky ballsy pass in Jake’s usual “gunslinger” mode. Oh no, my friends, upon Wildman’s astute examination of the replay on those tremonsterous scoreboard screens, JAKE LAID THAT BALL RIGHT ON HIS CHEST! Stupendous play. While Stewilliams never had any of those magnificent breakaway runs, they managed to crank out some 140 yards of good, bruising offense. But the best part of our offense yesterday was something we haven’t seen in possibly THE ENTIRE JOHN FOX ERA. Killer instinct. Never, did I feel Foxball was being played as a strategic feature yesterday. The plays were called with daring, for example, the “flea flicker” from Stewart to Jake in the second quarter, and CONSISTENTLY taking a chance with the pass in the second half, keeping drives going, and keeping the Saints from getting the ball and thus getting a chance to get back in the game. Essentially, we laid the proverbial “foot on the neck”, and never let up. Never before have I seen a John Fox team play this way at home, and it was as wonderful to see as the first time you saw your wife naked. (well, at least MINE!) Really. The sound of the crowd as we exited the stadium was as such that I’ve not heard since beating Dallas in the, ehh, that thing that starts with “P”. It was as majestic as any anthem Beethoven ever wrote. At this point I’d have to say that the few Saints fans that were there were well behaved and not obnoxious pieces of s**t that Cowbaby, Eagle and Squealer fans are, and in no way made an impact on the mood of the game. Saints and Bucs fans, you’re welcome in the lot anytime with us.
Ok, we had a magnificent experience yesterday. So how does this game stack up in the great ledger of Panther wins?
Depends.
Foxy and staff MUST follow up this masterpiece with one similar to it this Sunday against the Cardy-noles. Without a repeat performance against a team that has a similar offensive philosophy, and a slightly BETTER defense, this past game will only be a footnote, instead of another brick in a foundation of success this season. As it is with Fox fashion, he must not let these guys get too high again, as they were just before Tampa. I’d outlaw reading all of the gushy love over the ‘net and papers until the seasons’ over. Don’t think Arid-zona couldn’t beat us, ‘cause they could. Unless the team goes into this game with the same laser focus they had for the Saints. And it’s absolutely VITAL. After this game is the bye. Then, the second half of our season begins, albeit with a pair of patsies in the Schraiders and Lie-uns. We had BETTER be 8-2 at that point, because the next six games are against teams that right now all have winning records, with a real chance at the postseason. (Relax, Coach Mora, I didn’t say IT---) Ok, the Saints are 3-4. For now. Lets see, here they are, and in this order- AT the Duckies, AT the Packers, HOME against the Bucs, HOME against the Broncoids, then AT the G’ints, and finished at The Superdome against a team that would LOVE to get back at us. That crucible stretch of six games will define this season, and how great it would be to have the same kind of play we had yesterday. Foxy- Turkey-Vac- you fellas have your mandate.
Make it happen. For us, the loyal fan, if not for your jobs.
I’ll be back with a quasi-scouting report on our opponent in a couple of days.
In the meantime, relish this wonderful win until Thursday, Friday at the very latest, because the hard road comes in full force in less than five weeks.
Then, it’s six weeks of NFL battling at it’s best. And I’m confident we’ll come out on top.
Gotta Comment?
E-mail me, The Cedar Street SeerCaptnTee@aol.com
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